


deadcanons

by snapephobic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Best Friends, Boys in Skirts, Coming Out, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay, Gay Panic, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Halloween, Happy, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Smut, Painting, Panic Attacks, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts, Remus Lupin Lives, Scars, Sirius Black Lives, Spells & Enchantments, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Werewolves, but rarely, headcanons, sometimes straight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:28:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 120
Words: 27,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29257482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapephobic/pseuds/snapephobic
Summary: a collection of deadcanons by the all the young dudes discord server.we do not support j.k. rowling or her disgusting views.
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Luna Lovegood & Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Marlene McKinnon & Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Weasley, Sirius Black & Harry Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	1. teddy lupin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thedeadcanons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedeadcanons/gifts).



Teddy Lupin sharing the same temper as his father. People telling him this and Teddy getting even more annoyed because he was not his father. Sure he had his dad’s height, sure he had his dad’s nose and facial structure, sure he had his temper but he was Teddy, not Remus. He hated being told that he was like his father. His father had left when Teddy needed him the most. Even though Teddy knew it wasn’t his father’s fault for dying, and he felt guilty feeling this anger towards him and his mother, the anger was still there and bitterness always would be.

[written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	2. october 31st, 1981

On October 31st 1981, the Marauders fell apart. One was dead, one was a traitor, one was imprisoned, and one was left utterly alone. Now go back to the day before. Imagine them all together, on October 30th, planning Sirius's birthday. Imagine them asking each other what presents they should get him. Imagine them talking about Halloween costumes and laughing at each other's ridiculous ideas. Imagine them happy. 3 days later, on November 3rd 1981, Sirius Black sat alone in a cell in Azkaban, softly singing: "Happy birthday to me...happy birthday to me...happy birthday dear Sirius...." whilst tears streamed down his face, wishing he could go back in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	3. rip regulus

Regulus Black died. He drowned, specifically. Dragged down underwater with no way to escape or get out, by reanimated corpses, while trying to bring down the most powerful dark wizard of all time. He knew people wouldn't know, but he didn't care. Not until one thought, his last, popped into his head just before everything went dark. "He hates me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	4. remus lupin's furry little problem

in second year, the marauders discover his dirty little secret, or, as they affectionately call it, his furry little problem. they normalise it, like transforming into a violent monster once a month is just another part of who he is. they don’t really understand it, but he appreciates the effort. he still tiptoes around his body though, working just as hard as he did in first year to hide what was underneath. until sirius happened. he’s the first one to see them, and sirius shows him his own scars from his mother in return. this time, it’s sirius who suggests another swim, and remus comes along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	5. peaceful paintings

Sirius and Remus deciding to paint each other’s backs one day after Sirius got out of Azkaban, just to start getting familiar with each other again. Remus letting Sirius paint his back first because he knew Sirius finds painting calming. Sirius gently tracing over Remus’s scars with green paint, making vines that twist across Remus’s back, then adding flowers. Remus getting up and looking in the mirror and nearly crying because Sirius had made him look beautiful.

Sirius getting his turn. Remus tracing the outline of a Gryffindor banner over his shoulder blade, the jutting bone making it easy. of course. Remus painting dog and wolf paw prints up Sirius’s spine, intertwining together to show that they would never be separated again. Remus painting the Sirius constellation and just putting so much detail that when Sirius sees his back, he doesn’t bother trying to hold back his tears and just cries into Remus’s shoulder. And then Remus starts crying too and they just hold each other,silent apologies passing between them until they’re both to cried out to continue and stumble to the couch, still tangled in each other’s arms, collapse onto it, and fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	6. bravery and a little bit of glamour

Remus wanted them gone. He didn't want the second looks, people wondering what was wrong with him, wondering if it was contagious. 

One day he was alone in the dorms. Though he'd never been any good at them, he decided to try glamour charms. Without warning, Peter walked in. Remus fumbled with his wand for a second, trying to put it away. 

"Why would you hide them?" Pete asked. 

"I just didn't want to look weak anymore." Remus timidly answered. 

“You aren't weak. They show that you're strong and brave." Peter said, throwing a glamour charm on Remus, being much better at them. 

"You're strong and brave too, Pete."

And as he looked in Pettigrews eyes in the Shrieking Shack that night all those years later he thought, I was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [eclipse wrote this](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	7. teddy lupin 2.0

Teddy Lupin was never an angry person until it came to people comparing him to his parents all the time.

”You have your father’s personality for sure.” 

”Your mother always had quite the temper too sometimes, Teddy.” 

It was all, just your father this and your mother that and Teddy hated it because he was not his parents. He was Teddy, not Remus or Nymphadora.

Harry noticed how much Teddy hated this and instead only told him stories about his parents. He never compared him to them and Teddy appreciated that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	8. lily potter

Lily Potter was 21. She had to take her baby and run while her husband faced death in the face. She listened to her husband fall to the ground while trying to board up a door from her husband's killer. She knew she was next and put her son in his crib and told him that she loved him and to be strong and brave. Then he was there. Telling her to move out of the way so he could kill her only child. She begged. Begged for mercy for her son. "Not Harry! Please...have mercy... I'll do anything!" The last thing she heard was her newly orphaned son crying and she knew how his life would go. She knew he'd be orphaned. She knew that the life he could've had was gone. Right before she died, she thought "I'm sorry, Harry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	9. the tears of the potters

He looked around, wondering where he was. He could see Lily and Harry but he wasn't with them. He then remembered what happened and what was about to happen to his wife and son. He screamed and yelled but they couldn't hear him. He didn't understand why Harry didn't die but he did understand how other people would view this and he started sobbing for his friends. He knew people would think Sirius betrayed them. He knew Remus would be alone, with his lycanthropy and job problems, and he sat and cried knowing how horrible their lives would be. He felt his wife's hand softly lay on his shoulder but for once in his life, he didn't acknowledge Lily. He sat and cried. He cried his heart out thinking of their lost friendship and watched Sirius go after Peter and get sent to Azkaban and just sat crying and being comforted by Lily until he couldn't cry anymore. When he finally looked at his wife he saw tears streaming down her face. "Our son-" she choked out before sobs racked her body too. He took her in her arms and comforted her like she'd done him. And there Lily and James sat, crying for their son, their friends, and the loss of their life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	10. fck dumbledore

James Potter burst into Dumbledore's office. 

"My son?! He's after my son?!" He demanded of him. 

"He wants him out of the way, yes." Dumbledore answered in that infuriatingly calm voice. 

"Out of the- HE'S AN INFANT!" James yelled at his former headmaster. 

"Certain sacrifices must be made, if he's lost in the process it's for the greater good." 

"THE GREATER GOOD?!" 

With that, James Potter screamed and yelled and destroyed Dumbledore's office, throwing and smashing things. 

When he was done he turned to Dumbledore with a look at defiance and said, 

"I will protect my son. Whatever it takes. Until the very end." 

And he walked out, not knowing that'd be his last time. And he did just that. Protected his son with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	11. lily luna potter

Lily Luna Potter felt underappreciated and overlooked. It was always James Sirius just like his grandfather or Albus Severus just like his dad. No one ever commented on Lily. She'd been referred to as "Harry Potter's daughter" more times than she could count. That was until she saw a magical painting that looked miraculously like a photo her father had shown her of his godfather. It wasn't until she walked up to the painting did she notice that there were some differences. The hair was longer, the jaw less defined, and a more uptight look about him. It wasn't until a painting introduced itself as Regulus Black did she realize this might be just who she needed to talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	12. fck dumbledore 2.0

as the war progressed, james confided in remus and sirius, now more than ever. peter wasn’t around as much, and the remaining 3 marauders grew ever reliant on each other for friendship. james tells the two of them about the incident with dumbledore, how baby harry had a target on his back and how dumbledore seemed so unfeeling. 

remus could certainly relate, feeling as disillusioned as everyone else with dumbledore. to remus, how could the same man who risked it all just so he could attend hogwarts, who seemed to have swaths of empathy for children, now treat them as canon fodder? with all the werewolf missions he’d been going on, he got the feeling that dumbledore was only relieved to see him back in one piece to be sent out again. 

sirius saw nothing but a twisted old man, a man who let young, impressionable students fall through the cracks and take on dark marks, now instruct his other students to take those fellow classmates lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	13. nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!tw for mentions of self harm!!

James and Lily both having nightmares every night in Godric’s Hollow about Voldemort coming and killing Harry while they weren’t asleep. Eventually they got so bad for James that he took to staying up all night in Harry’s room, casting stinging hexes on himself over and over again to keep himself awake, even if they caused welts and angry red marks all over his body. James hiding these marks during the day with glamour charms and long sleeves. One day, while Lily was out to get food for them and he had the house to himself with only Harry there, he let the glamour charms down. Remus turns up for an unexpected visit and comes in through the front door and sees James with his sleeves rolled up and horrible red marks all over his arms. James frantically tries to pull down his sleeves again but Remus stops him and just silently heals the sting marks, knowing exactly what had caused them but not saying anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	14. the babysitting traitor

James and Lily asking Peter to watch Harry while they go out because Sirius and Remus are busy. Peter opening his mouth to make an excuse before. slowly closing it. Peter looking down at Baby Harry and staring at him for a moment then quietly agreeing. James and Lily thanking him and leaving. Peter slowly picking Harry up, feeling quietly because this child was going to be killed and Peter was working for the person who was going to do it. Baby Harry gurgling and giggling happily. Peter abruptly setting him down and going to sit across the room, because he couldn’t bear to hold the child whose death he would be responsible for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	15. sweet secrets

late one night in the dorm, remus hears the familiar sound of sirius quietly creeping along the wooden floors and the opening and closing of james’ curtains before silence settles in the room once again. remus turning over with a bitter pang in his chest, wishing that sirius would be coming into his. little did remus know, that sirius crept into james’ bed to tell him how he was in love with remus and wanting to do just what remus wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	16. too afraid of what could happen to see the potential

Moony scratching Prongs one night, not enough to have any effects, but the next morning Remus wakes up and sees James quickly trying to hide the slash mark on his side. He freezes, then stumbles to his feet, puts his clothes on as quick as he can and runs as fast as he can, ignoring their calls for him to come back. Remus avoiding James, going as far as to skip classes that James was in with him. James finally cornering Remus in their dorm and trying to reassure him that it’s okay and that he was fine. Remus breaking down and having a panic attack because he could have killed James, or even worse, turned him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	17. leather skirts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!tw for mentions of weight!!

on a particularly hot day, sirius complains about sweating so remus jokes that he should put on a skirt if he’s going to whinge about it so much. sirius, never one to back down from a challenge, transfigures his school trousers into a dangerously short skirt just to prove a point. remus laughs until his ribs ache, but deep down, he likes it a little too much.

harry listening to stories from remus and sirius about their hogwarts days, this one in particular, is the day sirius black rocked a skirt and loved it. harry finds the whole thing hilarious, remus, reminisces, and sirius goes “and i’d do it again!”. 

“NO!” remus and harry cry out simultaneously, laughing. 

sirius, feigning hurt, says to them,

“what? you don’t think i’d look as good as i did then?” 

remus, without thinking, says, 

“we don’t need to see your old bones in skirts that short,” and it strikes a nerve in sirius. 

remus isn’t wrong, he’s hardly the picture of health, still considered underweight by all standards. he doesn’t let remus see, though, they’re having a good moment. he doesn’t want to spoil it with his sensitivities. sirius looks remus in the eye and winks.   
“well you certainly loved it at one point.” 

and remus goes pink. god how he missed making remus blush. the moment is saved, and the three of them laugh like the family they should be.

sirius would never let remus know that what he’d said offhandedly had struck a nerve, however. they were too fragile, and things were going oh so well for them, too well, and sirius would do whatever it took to keep the peace between them.

when he finally did tell him it turned into a screaming match. until sirius said something very wrong. 

"AND HOW UNDERWEIGHT WERE YOU BEFORE YOU HAD US?! BEFORE YOU HAD ME, JAMES, AND PETER AT YOUR EVERY BECK AND CALL?!" 

sirius faltered as he realised what he said. remus tensed at his words and looked at him in disgust. 

"r-remus I didn't mean-" he tried explaining. 

"don't." 

that was the last word remus said before walking out of the door and apparating away. 

that was the last time he saw remus for two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves) and [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	18. cri

Remus walking in on Sirius taking a shower post-Azkaban and hearing bitter mutters of “disgusting” and “ugly”. 

Wasting no time in stripping and jumping right in with Sirius, nearly giving him a heart attack. 

Sirius immediately stops his self-bashing but Remus grabs his hands and firmly says,

“You are not ugly or disgusting, Sirius.” 

And on instinct Sirius shoots back, “Neither are you.” 

And they both fall silent until Sirius pulls his hands from Remus’s and turns away, saying quietly, 

“I just need some time alone. To think.” 

And Remus just says, 

“By think you mean degrade yourself and hate yourself?” 

And Sirius doesn’t turn around. Instead, he just says, “Go. Please.” 

And Remus does, despite the hurt and sadness he’s feeling. The next day is spent avoiding each other’s gazes and not speaking and the hurt and dull sadness in the air is obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	19. euphemia

When Sirius got to the Potters home, bloodied and beaten, Euphemia immediately called for James and Fleamont then started with this poor boy. She couldn’t wrap her head around how somebody could do this to their child. But then again it’s the Black Family we’re talking about here. When Sirius first awoke to a woman’s hand touching his face he automatically flinched, thinking it was his mother. Instead, this was a kind woman, James’s mom. Home had always been with the Potters. So Sirius let her care for him. Euphemia didn’t question what had happened while he was injured, just cared for him like a mother. When she died, it was as painful for Sirius as it was for James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	20. brothers

Regulus and Sirius had an amazing relationship. He'd call him Siri and Sirius would call him Reggie or Reg. 

That was, until Sirius went to Hogwarts. He got sorted into Gryffindor and suddenly everyone hated him. Regulus didn't understand it. But he had to go with it. 

When he was 15 and Sirius left, he cried and begged him not to go but Sirius wasn't budging. 

As his big brother walked down the stairs he yelled after him, 

"I love you, Siri." 

He cried for months and resolved to going back the next year to act like he hated him like his parents wanted. 

When he got the dark mark, he didn't really want to. Hell, he was terrified. But he had no choice. While Sirius wasn't living a life of luxury, neither was his brother. 

And as Regulus Arcturus Black was dragged underwater by dead bodies, he thought back to that night when his brother left and the last thing he had said.

“I love you, Siri." 

When Sirius heard that his brother had died he put up a tough front. 

That was, until Lily brought him into another room telling him that she knew part of what he felt and hugged him. He finally broke, clutching her with all his might while he was crying and repeating my baby brother.

Lily sat and hugged him, rubbing circles in his back while he cried. And as he cried and cried, there was one thought running through his mind, thinking of the night he'd left home and his baby brothers words to him, and thought I love you too, Reg.

\---

sirius couldn’t confide in remus or james, though, they were only children. they didn’t even know what it meant to have a sibling, yet alone to be estranged from one. to watch a younger one slip through the cracks and become a shadow of who they used to be. lily did, though petunia had hardly became a death eater, but lily knew what it meant to grow up side by side, close as can be, only to have it fall apart. 

lily always knew the right thing to say, she never made him feel guilty, like a failure of a brother. she couldn’t fix anything, but she listened, and she knew the feeling of being unable to fix a problem you knew you didn’t start, or could even solve, and that was enough.

\---

Sirius was standing at the back of the DADA classroom. The teacher had gathered all the top students from each house and he sat back and watched. He saw wisps of light and some nearly formed ones until a full body patronus came out of nowhere in the front of the classroom and he heard gasps and oohs. He was too far away to see what it was over the crowd. 

But he heard James whisper, "Padfoot." 

And so Sirius, confused as ever, made his way through the crowd. He came up to James and screeched to a halt. He was utterly speechless. 

A large silver dog was running around the front of the classroom.

It finally returned to one Regulus Arcturus Black who proudly lowered his wand, before becoming very confused at the sight of his brother with tears in his eyes.

\---

Sirius leaning on James for support as they head back to the Gryffindor Tower, trying to keep himself from breaking down right them and there. James practically carrying Sirius up to their dorm and Sirius then just sitting down on his bed heavily and looking up at James and saying 

“His Patronus is me...I’m what makes him happy.” 

Then years later, when Sirius gets informed that Regulus had died, he just whispers under his breath “I’ll miss you mini Padfoot.” And then breaks down again :DD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile) and [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves) and [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	21. love through the eyes of the marauders

When James Potter was six, he believed love was hugs and kisses and making dinner. He thought it was healing scrapes and bruises and being tucked in at night, being told stories. 

When James Potter was eleven, he believed love was presents and freedom. He thought it was simple, and laughed at kissing and romance. He didn't think he needed love, and doubted he'd ever want it.

When James Potter was fourteen, he believed love was holding hands and awkward dates at Hogsmeade. He thought it was being a good listener, or being funny. He thought he could skirt away from any disputes. He thought all he had to do was pay someone attention and that would be enough.

When James Potter was sixteen, he believed love was the most complicated thing. It felt like dust filled his lungs and shrouded his eyes, and nothing made sense. He thought it was helping people when times were rough, and he realized that love was more friendship than relationship. He thought it was blissful but also terrible. 

When James Potter was eighteen, he believed love was everything. He knew it was everything and nothing. It was romance and hugs and healing, it was giving and listening and devotion, it was giving space and giving time. 

When James Potter was twenty-one, he believed love was sacrifice. He thought there was nothing more to do than try and let his family escape, than to show that if there was a life without them in it, he wanted no part of it.

\---

When Sirius Black was six, he thought love was praise and teaching. He thought it was learning from his elders. He thought love was only to be given to those worth it.

When Sirius Black was eleven, his understanding of love fogged over. Love now was harsh scoldings, love was constant pestering to be better then everybody else. Love was his parents watching his every move.

When Sirius Black was fifteen, his understanding of love became clear again. Love was friendship and loyalty. Love was firm hugs and loud laughs. Love was the gentle touches from Moony, Love was with the Marauders.

When Sirius Black was sixteen, he thought for a moment that his last remaining ounce of love had been destroyed. Until he got to the Potter’s. There, where James, Euphemia and Fleamont treated him as a member of their own family, he could feel love again. Now love was comfort and hugs and constant reassurance. Love was strength and unity in a family. Love was family.

When Sirius Black was twenty one, he thought love would never matter to him again. Those who kept his understanding of love strong were now gone. Love now was betrayal and anger. Love was anxiety and constant frayed nerves. Love meant nothing to Sirius Black anymore. All love had ever brought him was pain.

\---

When Remus Lupin was six, all he knew was constant pain. He never worried about love to much. His dad tried to avoid him as much as he could and his mother only pitied him however much she tried to hide it. Love was dull and worthless, love meant nothing to Remus Lupin.

When Remus Lupin was eleven, he still didn’t quite understand love. Love to him was families being warm and comfortable with each other, love was hugs and kisses and giggles. Love made him angry because he didn’t understand it. Not until he met the Marauders.

When Remus Lupin was thirteen, he started to understand love again. Love was laughing with his friends, love was them not blaming him for anything, love was mischief, love was snickers and play wrestling and ruffling hair. Remus Lupin liked this kind of love.

When Remus Lupin was fifteen, his love got ripped apart by one of the people who had built it up. Love was distrust and anger and betrayal. Love was a confusing thing, love was comfort and pain at the same time. Love was sympathetic glances towards him, love was constant reassurance that he wasn’t a monster.

When Remus Lupin was seventeen, love mattered again. Love was trust and dependence, love was bravery and loyalty. Love was comfort and soothing each other when needed. Love was being able to put your life in the hands of those close to you and trust them to not destroy it.

When Remus Lupin was twenty one, he gave up on love. Love was worthless and pathetic, love had only ever brought destruction to the world and he hated it. Love was closing himself off from everybody who was left. Love was anger and hurt. Love did not matter to Remus Lupin and it never would. Ever again.

When Remus Lupin was thirty three, love started mattering again. Love was bittersweet tears and apologies. Love was slowly building that former trust again. Love was bonding with each other. Love was fierce promises to never betray anybody or hurt anybody ever again. Love was a confusing thing for Remus Lupin.

\---

When Peter Pettigrew was six, he believed love was sugarplums and daisies. All good and no bad things, ever.

When Peter Pettigrew was eleven, he believed love was friends and having people that would protect you.

When Peter Pettigrew was fourteen, he believed love was pointless. He didn't like dating and the idea of dating or love itself was gross to him. He found love in his friends.

When Peter Pettigrew was sixteen, he believed that love wasn't made for him. His friends were all in relationships and were all lovey-dovey and he'd be the fifth wheel. He resigned to the fact that he'd never be in love or properly live anyone.

When Peter Pettigrew was eighteen, he was past love. He was onto bigger and better things that didn't involve romance or comforting them when they cried. 

When Peter Pettigrew was twenty-one, he believed that love didn't exist. Not even in friends. In the people he'd once found love and comfort for he felt nothing and had no desire to love anyone. He had no problem at all betraying his friends to death, imprisonment, and solitude.

\---

When James Potter was eleven, he didn’t understand why Remus and Sirius didn’t talk about their families. To him, family was constant love and support and adoration from those older then him. He didn’t understand the fact that one’s parents could ever harm their child. So instead he started acting towards them like how his parents acted towards him. He made sure they got their homework done on time and that they were going to bed at a reasonable hour even if it meant watching them until they truly fell asleep. He comforted them when they had nightmares and he would make sure they ate regular, healthy meals at breakfast, lunch and dinner even if it meant he had to force food down their throats by hand. Remus and Sirius started to understand what it was like to be truly loved and cared for, James may have been the same age as them but you could be damn well sure they saw him as their parent figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile) and [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	22. the battle of hogwarts hehehehehehehehehehehe

May 2nd, 1998  
Tonight was the night George Weasley lost his twin.   
Tonight was she night Teddy Lupin became orphaned.   
Tonight was the night Dennis Creevey lost a brother.   
Tonight was the night Malfoy lost a friend.  
Tonight was the night Harry cast the curse for Mcgonagall.  
Tonight was the night Percy realized he loved his family.   
Tonight was the night Aberforth came of use.  
Tonight was the night Ron and Hermione accepted it.  
Tonight was the night Molly protected her daughter.   
Tonight was the night Snape was found out.  
Tonight was the night Voldemort died.   
Tonight was the night many brave heroes fell.  
Tonight was the night the Battle of Hogwarts was fought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	23. 5 things

Sirius Black only wanted five things over the course of his life.

1\. Shield Regulus from Death Eaters.  
2\. Never go back to Grimmauld Place.  
3\. Convince the world he wasn't like his family.  
4\. Do right by James and his real family.  
5\. Protect Harry.

Think about how that worked out. Just think about it. 

1\. He lost his brother.  
2\. He was locked in that exact place.  
3\. He was tossed in jail and accused of being a Death Eater.  
4\. Accidentally brought about the death of James and Lily.  
5\. Died rushing to Harry's aid.

\---

5 Things James Potter Wanted In Life:

1\. To become a successful and well know Auror

2\. Stop Voldemort and give a hand in making the world peaceful again

3\. Raise a family with the love of his life

4\. Teach his children how to play Quidditch and watch them attend Hogwarts

5\. Grow old with the Marauders

How Those Five Things Turned Out For James Potter

1\. Was only an Auror for three years before he had to go into hiding 

2\. He was forced to hide from the very person he wanted to stop.

3\. Murdered before he even had the chance to have more children

4\. Had to watch from the afterlife as his only son learned and grew up without him.

5\. One was a traitor, the other was blamed for a crime he didn’t commit, another was left completely alone without knowing what had truly happened and James himself was dead.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile) and [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	24. baby harry

"...Mama? Dada? Pa'foo?"  
The whispers of an infant soon turned into soft sobs as the scared and confused child sat by himself in the dark. "...Moo'ey? Dada?" His stomach was burning, his throat was itching with thirst, and he wanted his Mama. His anguish was ignored by the residents of Number 4, Privet Drive. Sniffling, Harry James Potter cried himself to sleep in the small cupboard under the stairs to dreams of vibrant red hair and barking laughs. Years later, he would not remember these people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	25. ECLIPSE NO

Everyone missing the girl who most used to think annoying. The caring, lovable, joyfully kind girl, Lavender Brown, was dead. Gone. Killed. By a werewolf at that. And as Remus Lupin looked down at her body as he passed it, still being alive at this point, he saw his former student and let out a small sob, knowing full well that could've been him 35 years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	26. wolfstar fluff

remus and sirius falling asleep after school on top of the covers of someone’s bed, completely tangled in each other, still in their uniforms. james creeps into the room, careful not to wake them up and takes in the sigh of his two best friends, happily intertwined and completely at ease. he’s never been happier for them.

\---

james took a picture that day, to use for blackmail or something of the sort, but lost it and didn't find it till years later, soon before remus and sirius moved in together. he and lily put together a scrapbook of pictures of all of them, and after it had been looked through a few times by remus and sirius, was forgotten.

flash forward to 1996

remus found the scrapbook one day while cleaning out number 12, grimmauld place. it had mostly been eaten by rats and all the other unknown creatures living in the house. one of the only pictures left intact was that snapshot that james had taken so many years before, and the memories came flooding back to remus, as he'd suppressed them for 12 years, and hadn't had enough time to truly let his guard down since he'd found out sirius was innocent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves) and [yours truly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapephobic)


	27. queue everything has changed by taylor swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ~~redacted~~ definitely isn't horny for a 57 year old man who happens to be their adopted father in their dr

James Potter noticing how far apart the Marauders were drifting apart during the war and inviting them all over for dinner with he and Lily. Tensions running high and an awkward silence resting between them. And it made him so sad that everything had changed for them in the flick of a switch. He missed the days where they would be unable to hold back giggles in class, he missed all of their pranks, he missed everything about the old Marauders. When Sirius, Remus and Peter left as quickly as they came, he confided in Lily, but she too had no advice for him. James Potter kept trying to bring his friends back together for a year and it wasn’t until Harry was born that things went back to being alright-ish again. Then in 1980, everything crumpled right over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	28. full moons

james potter wanting to join remus for the full moons afterwards, padfoot be damned if it meant keeping remus safe. he always cared about remus’ safety, the few times he’d seen the scars, he swore to himself he’d never let remus bear another one. he didn’t though, because he knew remus needed to be alone. another part of him was also concerned that the wolf wouldn’t be nearly as receptive to prongs this time around, after all, moony and the wolf were, to an extent, the same person, and that person was angry. so he remained in the dorm, unable to sleep, worried sick about remus all alone in the shack when he didn’t need to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	29. the marauders really were the greatest of friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ~~redacted~~ thinks tom riddle had a bigger dumptruck ass than hagrid

people always saw james and sirius as the marauders, the package deal, the brothers who were closer than blood, but nobody really knew that remus was also his best friend, and that he’d been damned if anyone hurt him, even if it was his other best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	30. traitorous tendencies

James Potter defended Peter Pettigrew every living moment. Anybody ever made fun of Peter, James was there to tell them off, anybody ever jabbed at Peter’s appearance, James was always there to throw a hex at said person, James Potter was always there for Peter Pettigrew yet Peter still betrayed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	31. hey alexa, play despacito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ~~redacted~~ fantasizes about being thrown into a wall by a 61 year old man and the man's son's wife at the same time....

Whatever you do, don't think about Lily getting pregnant and James panicking about how to be a good father.  
Don't think about James and Lily being perfect parents.  
Don't think about Sirius Black trying to be the cool godfather, only for James and Lily to find him 5 minutes later being chased by Harry.  
Don't think about Remus Lupin reading Harry bedtime stories and mid-morning stories and afternoon stories in the hope that he would be as intelligent as his parents.  
Don't think about James Potter loving his son so much that he died unarmed to save him, or that Sirius Black was willing to give up his crazy bachelor lifestyle to care for the only living reminder of his best friends, only to have his rightful guardianship taken away.  
Don't think about Sirius in Azkaban, going slowly mad and hoping Harry's okay.  
Don't think about Remus Lupin all alone, all of his friends either dead or in prison.  
Don't think about Remus Lupin waking up on the train to a spitting image of James, and not being able to tell him who he is.  
Don't think about Sirius Black realizing that his godson doesn't believe he's innocent, and that he'd murdered his best friend.  
Don't remember how Sirius spent a year eating rats in order to keep an eye on Harry.  
Don't think about Remus Lupin having to do a mission surrounded by werewolves for the Order,and thinking he's the same as them.  
And don't ever think about Remus Lupin losing his last remaining friend again, this time right before his eyes.  
Just never think about how sad the Marauders really are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [eclipse wrote this](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	32. feelings change, people change, experiences change

james potter, for a little while, hated sirius black. he despised him. he looked at sirius and didn’t see his best friend, he saw a stranger. his best friend wouldn’t have even considered putting remus’ life, or anyone else’s, enemy or not in danger like that. exposing remus, what was he thinking? james had thought they’d all come to an unspoken agreement that now, it was all their secret to bear, especially as illegal animagus. of course, this anger didn’t last for long, james always had a penchant for forgiveness. he was never angry with remus though. james had all the patience in the world for remus, he knew it wasn’t his place to forgive sirius, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try to help them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	33. found family tragedy type beat

James Potter hated all the Marauders at a certain time. He hated them during 1979, he hated them for not being themselves, he knew it wasn’t their fault but he couldn’t help his anger. He was angry at himself for not doing better to keep them all together, he was angry at everybody and for a while it slowly started destroying him. He closed in on himself and began to ignore those around him no matter how hard they tried to get him to open up. Whenever he saw Sirius, Peter, or Remus nowadays it was rare and when he did see them he’d plaster a fake smile on his face and throw up that “James Potter is a confident douchebag” persona. Then when it was over, he’d withdrawal again. When Lily told him she was pregnant, that was when he started to open up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	34. yes daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~petition to take back vanessa's rights~~

james potter always dreamed of being a father from a young age. he certainly entertained the fantasy of professional quidditch and becoming an auror like most young wizards, but deep down, he knew that all he ever wanted was a family to raise and call his own. even though it was more of a “girl’s thing” to stay at home and dote on children, and he’d never admit it to anyone (except for lily, by their 7th year), nothing would make james potter happier than to become a stay at home father.  
on the first day of 7th year, as he boarded the hogwarts express beginning a new school year for the last time, he imagined the day he would be the one standing on the platform, lily by his side, sending their eldest child off to school for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	35. storm.exe has stopped working

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~a certain SOMEONE is freaking out rn bc remus lupin kissing them~~

All James Potter wanting was to grow old with his brothers, his wife and his son. All James Potter wanting was to raise more mini Prongs and mini Lilys. James Potter wanting to have enough kids to make Remus and Peter godfathers too. All James Potter wanting was to see his children off to Hogwarts, All James Potter wanting was to teach his children how to play Quidditch. All James Potter wanting was to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	36. peter the cowardly lion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~eclipse stop encouraging them~~

He wants James to come out of his house and fight like the rest of them, because cowardice was something Pete thought was below his mate.

No matter who dies or who is tortured to insanity, no matter who forgets their name and those of their family, no matter who returns from a mission without a partner, James is untouchable.

James is nothing but heroism and love, and the right cause, and maybe he has felt loss in his life, but it is nothing like what Pete has faced. Pete loves James, he does, but he hates his privilege. He was so goddamn lucky, and Peter hated him for his lofty smile and sad eyes.

The group without a name reached out to him, not the other way around. 

He only agreed to meet them, that was all. There wasn't enough time to tell the others, he rationalized, he had to act on instinct. He attended the meeting, and slunk out the back door at the end, his heart beating in his throat. 

He threw up in the bathroom when he got home.

He went back the next week.

He decided against telling the Order.

Peter Pettigrew didn't take orders from anyone other than himself, after all. Self Preservation is key, that's how one survives a war. 

He is the death eaters' spy, and James' best mate, and his backstabbing secret-keeper. The Order member, and the boy from all those months ago, the one he could never recognize now, would have let himself die rather than turn into whatever filth he had become.

They ended up torturing the names out of him, and he feels whatever trace of that boy wash away while he is suspended in midair, begging for mercy and offering their address. 

James not there after to pick him up and hold his hands.

James is opening the door, expecting trick-or-treaters. James is begging Lily to take Harry and run. James is dead.

Peter is alone and he cannot stop the sobs that rack his tiny, broken body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	37. separation anxiety

James Potter having severe separation anxiety that developed when he was eleven when his dad came home from work a lot later then he expected and his mother had been out for hours. Eleven year old James Potter being absolutely terrified to go to Hogwarts and begging his parents to come with him. James Potter throwing up his confident mask on the Hogwarts Express and skillfully keeping it in place until that night before bed. James hiding in bathroom and shaking, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that his parents would be okay and he would be okay without them. James Potter becoming friends with the Marauders and that anxiety diving deep below the surface and never rising again for years.

Years later, when his parents died. That anxiety came back in full force. James Potter panicked, he had no idea what he would do without his parents. He should have protected them better. They had always promised to be there for him and now they weren’t. James Potter trying to rein in the anxiety but failing and eventually running home and breaking down for hours in his bedroom. Sirius finding him hours later and convincing him out and comforting him. James eventually getting over his parents with the help of his brothers.

But the anxiety was always there and always would be. James Potter needed people and without them, he wouldn’t be the man he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/profile)


	38. oOh wolfstar raising harry au in the making i see you

remus and sirius always had complicated feelings about family. unlike james, lily and peter, to them, family meant betrayal, abuse, loss and fear. their prongs though, gave them a sliver of hope, remus and sirius had never been prouder of james once harry was born. 

remus watched lily and james give harry the world, the way lyall and hope lupin must have for the first five years of his own life, and he knew that harry’s life wouldn’t turn our to be as miserable as his. sirius saw his friends become parents who would love their child unconditionally, limitlessly, nothing like walburga and orion black. 

of course, they never got around to that conversation, for now they were happy to be the cool gay uncles who let harry be as mischievous as he wanted to be. marriage was hardly on the table, yet alone children. 

late at night, curled up in each other, falling asleep, remus thought of raising a child of his own, a normal life, not a children’s home. sirius also thought of children, the idea of siblings raised the right way, not broken like him and regulus. it was a scary thought for both of them, but not entirely unwelcome.

then, on october 31st, 1981, the unthinkable happened. james and lily were dead, and remus and sirius were left with their son, now to be raised as their son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves)


	39. 5 years old

When James Potter was five years old, he managed to get himself stuck in a tree for nearly two hours after sneaking into the shed and stealing his dads old quidditch broom.

When Sirius Black was five years old, he waltzed around with his cousin Andromeda in his family's ballroom wearing his four-piece suit, afterwards spending the rest of the night trying to sneak sips of chardonnay while adults weren't looking 

When Peter Pettigrew was five years old, he tried to steal one of his mums famous tarts, only to be greeted with a swift slap to the hand as his chubby fingers reached towards the sweets.

When Remus Lupin was five years old, he experienced his first transformation locked alone in his room. He listened to the quiet sobs of his mother from the outside of the door whilst playing with his toy car before a sudden sharp pain had him rigid with fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	40. as the years go by

bathroom, nineteen. overflowing sink. corner of the room. lighting threatening to split the skies apart. hair in damp ringlets. choking on sobs. can't stop crying. won't stop crying, marlene's face. marlene's body lying on the floor. marlene laughing. marlene screaming. marlene dying. she's dead, lily, she's dead. chest cleaving in two, ribs breaking, no air. can't stop crying. door cracking open. his arms, her name in his mouth. cradled against his chest, in the corner of the room. james, it hurts. more crying. i know, i know. i have you, evans.

bathroom. nineteen. hair in curls. peony-pink lips. baby's breath wreath around her head. white dress. mary smiling at her in the mirror, perfume clogging her nostrils. everyone bustling around her, sirius hammering on the door. peter needs help with his cufflinks. sirius threatening to let james in if they don't hurry the hell up. mary yelling that they can't start the wedding without the bride. sirius yelling that they bloody well can and they will. james's voice on the other side of the door. her stomach in knots, smiling like she doesn't know she has to compete with the sun

bathroom. twenty. nursing harry in the bath. giggling as she pours water over his head. james distracting him with a rubber duck are you trying to drown him, evans, jesus christ snapping back that if he hadn't let sirius get tomato sauce in harry's hair they wouldn't be having this conversation. smell of burning from the kitchen did you forget to turn the stove off, james? him swearing, her yelling at him to stop swearing in front of harry, harry saying bugger. harry laughing. all three of them laughing. smoke alarm going off. life is ok. life is good.

bathroom, twenty-one. there's no-one there. distant screaming in the next room. vase being broken a baby crying. someone coming up the stairs. a door opening someone else crying a motorcycle. more footsteps, getting distant, a door closing. silence. endless, irrevocable silence, like a single sigh, a breath being expelled. an empty bathroom. empty hallway, empty living room, empty kitchen. empty house. empty world. empty life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [written by eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/profile)


	41. the tragedy that surrounded james potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: anxiety attack

James Potter one day having an anxiety attack so bad in Godric’s Hollow then he refuses to leave Harry’s room and has his wand clenched in his hand so hard that his knuckles are white. Any slight movements and he’s firing curses and hexes and spells all over the room. 

Lily very carefully trying to bring him food and James trying to eat it but not being able to keep it down and ends up on the floor coughing it all up then clearing it with a flick of his wand. This cycle repeating for weeks. 

James refusing to leave the room, James trying to eat and ending up on the ground, James losing weight severely and getting sick, Lily worriedly informing Dumbledore of this. Dumbledore sending McGonagall, Remus and Sirius over to check on the Potters. 

Them seeing James’ condition for themselves. Dark circles under his eyes, hollowed face, looking like he was only made of skin and bones, James stubbornly refusing to rest. Remus finally knocking James out with a spell and dragging him to he and Lily’s room, Sirius following. 

McGonagall going back to confront Dumbledore, telling him “They can’t keep doing this, Albus. Bring them here. They’ll be more protected anyway.” And Dumbledore just shaking his head and that god damn fool just saying “It’s all for the greater good, Minerva. They will struggle but measures must be taken to the extreme, no matter what happens or how they are effected.” 

Halloween happens, Harry Potter disappears, his parents are dead and the story of how James and Lily Evans-Potter would do anything for their son.

Remus, Minerva and Sirius remembering how far James pushed himself to protect Harry. How hard Lily worked to keep both her husband and her son safe and what had it been worth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	42. wolf cub

five year old remus lupin not knowing why his parents were looking at him like that. like something bad was going to happen, something really bad. had he done something wrong? no, no, that was a different look. he heard the lock in the door click shut—he didn’t know the door did that, and as the moon rose outside, an unimaginable pain tore through his body, and he began to wail. he wailed and rolled on the floor in pain. he wanted the pain to go away, he wanted his mum, and his dad, but they were nowhere to be found. after a few agonising minutes, a wolf cub emerged, wanting something else.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lyall Lupin unable to keep listening and retreating to the living room, burying his head in his hands, thinking of all the ways he could have prevented this from happening. How he had failed to protect his son, how he failed his wife by not protecting his wife. He sat in the living room as the wolf’s howls and snarls and keening echoed through the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves) and [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	43. cri

Sirius touching the place where the small flag had been on his lover's cheek with the tips of his fingertips, trying to recreate the touch of who he thought hated him, thinking of better times while sitting in Azkaban. It was then he realized he'd forgotten what Remus's touch felt like, he couldn't remember what used to be home for him, he recalled it being gentle and comforting but he couldn't recall it with that clear remembrance he usually could. He panicked, punching the walls and screaming while tears started falling across his dirty cheeks. He stopped punching the walls of his cell and ran his hands through his matted hair to the best of his abilities. This makes no sense. Nonsensical, as Lily would say. Once he had tired himself out, he curled up in a ball on the uncomfortable thing that they'd provided him as a bed, crying to Remus about how much he loved and missed him and most of all, how sorry he was. For everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	44. i love hope lupin with all my heart

hope being unable to look him in the eye. she told herself that she didn’t blame lyall, that greyback was the monster who bit their son and the single individual to blame for their situation. that was, of course, before she learned firsthand the horrors of lycanthropy as it tore through her baby boy. from that night, hope would never forgive lyall, for everything he’d done, testing fate, dealing with the devil and bringing fenrir greyback into their lives. for ruining remus’ life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	45. antigarfieldism

**Does anyone ever think about Remus?**

Does anyone ever think about how Remus remained so strong and optimistic despite his condition?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus went to Hogwarts, knowing it would be difficult, just hoping to be normal?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus let 3 other boys into his life, becoming closer to them than anyone else?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus was so willing to put his life on the line to save the world in the first war?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus was left behind: one friend dead, the other imprisoned, and the last a traitor?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus gave up on himself and on the future?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus came back into the light to help Harry and to save the world?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus had to watch another one of his best friends die?

Does anyone ever think about how Remus sacrificed himself to kill the very person that caused so much pain in everyone's lives?

Does anyone ever think about how  _ strong _ Remus is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	46. "it was a point of pride, having a tragic backstory"

young remus continued to attend a muggle primary school for two more years after he was bitten, after that he was quietly removed after the scars he had begun to tear upon his face as a growing werewolf were bound to raise suspicion. during those years, he heard some of the children talk about their parents. some of them talked about parents who loved each other dearly, while others spoke of parents who were no longer together, of yelling, of silence, of tension and confusion. he wondered if that was what was happening to his mum and dad. he wondered if it was his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	47. see snape there's no excuse

remus had been treated so horribly by the world for as long as he could remember, but instead of growing into a bitter man, he became someone with nothing but love to give, as much as he tried to pretend he didn’t (for his own safety, most of the time.). he gave everything he had when he had nothing left to give, and had everything blow up right in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	48. i'm a euphemia and fleamont stan okay

"Mum and Dad sent a letter." Sirius excitedly said.

He showed James the piece of parchment from his parents.

And Sirius didn't notice James' smile.

And Sirius didn't notice just how happy James was that Sirius had said the first three words so naturally - as if they really were Sirius' parents, as if they really were his family.

And Sirius didn't notice that Regulus had heard him. Sirius also didn't notice Regulus frowning. The otherwise perfect, pale, face that usually never showed too much of any emotion, was tainted with that small frown.

And Sirius didn't notice just how sad Regulus was that Sirius had said the first three words so naturally - as if they really were Sirius' parents, as if they really were his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	49. azkaban

Sirius in Azkaban, clutching his thin blanket in his fist, trying to imagine it’s Remus’s hand that he’s holding. Sirius whispering things to himself, pretending it’s Remus whispering comforts to him as he lay in bed sniffling and coughing. Sirius trying to imagine Remus’s face and Remus’s voice telling him that it would be okay and that he would get out of here eventually. Sirius unable to picture him because he knew Remus hated him now.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sirius post-azkaban talking about azkaban as little as possible, underplaying the amount of time he spent in dog form just so he could cope. the starvation, the cold, the ache in his bones and worst of all, the dementors at every corner. the less remus knew, the better. the less remus could blame himself for at the thought of sirius in azkaban, innocent and suffering for 12 long years.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Imagine Sirius waiting for Remus to come and visit him in Azkaban, to come and tell him he knows he's innocent and it's all going to be okay.

Imagine Remus cleaning up Sirius' possessions and breaking down at the realization of what Sirius did.

Imagine Remus trying to visit Sirius to get closure to ask him why? But he's not allowed due to his lack of rights as a werewolf.

Imagine Sirius just wasting away thinking that Remus just doesn't care.

Actually, don't imagine this. Just don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons), [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves), and [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	50. love letters

remus always loved letters from sirius, obviously it was good to hear from him, but he loved seeing the way sirius wrote his name on the envelope. all elegant script, perfectly proportionate and written so delicately. he’d never thought handwriting could make him feel so much affection. 

after they move in together, sirius writes a letter to james and remus hovers over his shoulder, arms draped around his neck. “write my name for me? i always liked the way you wrote it.” he says teasingly, but lovingly. so sirius does, and remus loves the way he writes remus john lupin as though he were writing to a king. delicately, so much care put into every stroke the way sirius did, all money and elegance.

on the 1st of november, 1981, remus takes out the box containing every letter sirius black every wrote him, from first year all the way up to the week before. he sees red. his hands are shaking and he can barely breathe, he’s paralysed by rage and the paper in his hands feels toxic. the realisation that the words in sirius’ elegant script were lies, all of them, brings out a primal rage in him.

he lights the fire, now disconnected from the floo network. the fire he and sirius had spend countless nights cuddled in front of, to their new—

no. that sirius wasn’t real. he never was.

he crouches down, too close to the flames and begins to throw the letters in, not even daring to read them. it would hurt too much. he might just go to azkaban himself and murder black himself.

there is only one question on remus lupin’s mind as he burns any evidence that their ‘love’ had once existed. 

when? when did sirius black stop loving him? when did sirius black no longer consider james potter his brother? lily evans his dear friend? little harry potter, his godson? peter pettigrew his fellow marauder? and finally, him, remus lupin, the love of his life, as black had told him, eyes blazing with passion.

was any of it ever real to begin with?

he didn’t know, and so he began to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	51. depression

After James and Lily died, after Sirius was taken to Azkaban and after he thought Peter was dead, Remus was on the brink of a breakdown. Finally, a few days into November, he brought himself to apparate to Surrey to see Harry. He never did knock on the door but he caught a glimpse of the child. His unruly mess of hair and green eyes, it hit with a strong sense of nostalgia and strangely, gave him hope. He felt happy, even though the happiness was short-lived. It was the first time he smiled since October 31st.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	52. sirius and remus live! au

remus and sirius surviving and becoming grandparent figures to the new potter children.

albus potter coming out to remus and sirius, with tears in his eyes, remus and sirus hugging him tightly. after albus calms down, sirius asks him with a twinkle in his eye if there’s anyone special they should know about.

“scorpius. scorpius malfoy. my, uh, my best friend. but he’s with someone else, a girl.”

remus listening, recalling his own hogwarts days of being in love with sirius while watching him fool around with a myriad of other girls and wanting sirius for himself.

sirius and remus renovated 12 grimmauld place as their forever home after the war. gone were the muggleborn bone chandeliers and black wooden floors. eerie wallpaper and scorched faces on the black family tree. remus and sirius would not have children of their own, but would frequently have the potter children over, the long hallways filled with laughter, rather than dread. it was the way a family home should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	53. honestly better written than cursed child wow

Harry trying to protect his kids anytime they went out. Harry shielding them from nosy Prophet reporters and sending dark looks their way, warning them off. Harry not hesitating to hex a writer that gets to close or a photographer that tries to sneak a picture. Harry even using Stupefy on one photographer that lunged to close to his daughter. Harry Potter would do anything to protect his children. He wasn’t going to let them suffer from all the attention just for him being their father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	54. aw scorbus

albus knowing about his father’s former rivalry with draco malfoy and avoiding mentioning scorpius too much around him because he doesn’t want to make things awkward.

one day during breakfast in the holidays, harry speaks up.

“i’ve invited scorpius and his father over for dinner tomorrow night, is that alright with everyone?”. harry barely looks up from his plate.

albus, from across the table, chokes on his orange juice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	55. jegulus angst yes please

Regulus Black hated it. What, you may ask? The fact that he had a crush, no, that he was in love with his brothers best friend. James Potter was an arrogant prick but for some godforsaken reason, Regulus liked him. He would never know of course that James shared these feelings, even if it was underneath some stuff he wasn't willing to unpack. But, he ended up with the girl. After years and years, Potter got the girl. Regulus never really stopped feeling for James either. He cried for months after James and Lily became official. But, the bad guy never gets the good guy. It's always the most predictable of pairings, as if it were a book. And so, Regulus lived. He lived on, trying to bury his feelings until finally he died. You can't imagine the pain he felt when he felt when years later, he saw those beautiful hazel eyes again. Only this time, they were accompanied by the brightest green ones. Still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	56. more jegulus omg

regulus’ friends thought he was odd, always dozing off, zoning out and looking away distantly. they couldn’t know why of course. never. not ever. not a single living breathing soul could ever find out about the way james potter made his heart do backflips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	57. yes this is linny angst

Ginny Weasley was amazing. Wonderful. She was also in love with Harry Potter. And not Luna. Ginny made Luna's heart flip and turn in ways she thought unimaginable. She may find ways to distract herself from Ginny but it never disappeared. It was a classic love story. Hero likes girl, girl likes hero. Always. It's like there isn't another path to take. So, Luna cried. She cried when she was alone. Luna Lovegood wasn't one you'd expect to cry at all really, but she did. That perfect porcelain face stained by those gorgeous tears that fell down her face so softly. Because of one girl. One major heartbreak. But Ginny would never know. She couldn't ever know. Besides, he was her chosen one. Luna wasn't.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

harry didn’t quite understand why ginny wanted to name lily after luna lovegood, (he was so set on making her middle name dumbledore, but ginny wasn’t having any of it). ginny knew exactly what she was doing, and a part of her felt bad about it, but she never stopped caring for luna, even if it wasn’t romantic anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset) and [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	58. okay but dorlene is so good

She was in love. That was the simplest way to say it. All of the stolen glances in class that no one caught. The rushed nights in the dorm that no one knew about. Their love was completely and fully real. It wasn't one-sided, it wasn't toxic. It seemed perfect. They got out of Hogwarts and lived their best life together though everyone still assumed they were just friends. Nobody thought any more of it. No one knew, that was, until one half died. No one knew anything until Marlene Mckinnon was slaughtered. And Dorcas Meadowes went into a frenzy. She told them everything while choking on sobs, saying that it hurt and she can't do this anymore. But they couldn't do anything about it. And then, slowly, the other half died on the inside. Grief and resentment for her lover's killer settled deep inside her and ate her from the inside out. So, she simply sat and internally died, being eaten alive by grief. Until she really died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	59. parallels

an older harry telling remus and sirius about him and ginny having liked all the same people, remus and sirius finding the whole thing absolutely hilarious because they knew they only had eyes for each other back in the marauders heyday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	60. sweet wolfstar fluff

remus and sirius cuddling on the couch with sirius transformed, remus stroking sirius and noticing the greying fur. he didn't know that animagus forms aged too, and it struck him just how long it had been since the first time he saw padfoot, in fifth year, a million years ago.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moony’s fur starting to grey too, the usual tawny brown starting to be streaked with grey just like Remus’s hair. Moony tiring more easily and only giving himself a few scratches before curling up to sleep with Padfoot at his side.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

remus sitting and reading with a cup of tea when sirius comes and curls up as padfoot in his lap for scratches when, after absent mindedly providing saïd scratches for a while remus looks down and chuckles to himself  _ “oh padfoot my dear you’re starting to grey” _ when all of a sudden sirius is back to himself in front of remus defiantly  _ “I AM NOT, IF EITHER ONE OF US IS GREYING ITS YOU” _ and remus replies  _ “ah my love but that’s to be expected _ ”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus being able to lengthen his canine teeth due to his lycanthropy and using it anytime he couldn’t get an annoying package open with his fingers and didn’t want to get anything else.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

remus forgetting that his senses were heightened compared to ordinary people, and being surprised that sirius–or anyone at that, couldn't identify smells, or hear as sharply or see in the dark as well as he could. sirius finding it amazing, and the loving look in sirius' eyes made being a werewolf seem like not such a bad thing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and as sirius began to take on the characteristics and behaviours of his animagus ever so slightly as we all know he did, he would chat with remus about these things and again even more so remus felt a little less crazy and out of place.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

peter, james and eventually lily were fascinated and amused by it, but sirius loved him for it, and it made all the difference. after the marauders first full moon together, when sirius called him beautiful in the early morning glow, even after seeing the ugliest part of lycanthropy, remus believed him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He would just casually turn into a stag out of nowhere at Godric’s Hollow and walk around the house. On the way up the stairs he got his head stuck in between the walls and couldn’t move. He was too busy panicking to think about just changing back. Sirius coming for a visit a few minutes later and entering the house only to hear a stag bellowing at the top of his lungs. Sirius walking over the stairs and seeing Prongs stuck in the stairwell and just bursting into laughter and not being able to catch his breathe for ten minutes. Sirius taking mercy and reminding James that he can change back. James doing so and rolling onto his back and saying  _ “You’re a life saver Sirius.” _

James one year later, laying dead on that same staircase with Sirius kneeled over him. But this time Sirius is crying from grief, not from laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves), [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons), and [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	61. tonks

6 year old Nymphadora Tonks seeing a picture of Andromeda with two other women she's never seen before one with pitch hair and red lips, one with hair the colour of snow with bright eyes and a clever face.

Tonks grinning at the challenge and closing her eyes, giggling as she feels her hair become long, her cheeks become smoother, less round. 

Tonks looking at herself in a mirror, seeing the blonde hair and blue eyes, and being so proud of it.

Tonks stumbling through into the kitchen, tugging on Andromeda's dress with a loud 'mummy, mummy' until Andromeda turns around to look at her.

Andromeda freezing up when she sees her younger sister there, perfect down to the stray curl sticking up.

Everything crashing down on Andromeda, Regulus's disappearance and losing her sisters and the war and all the loss.

Andromeda breaking down right there, falling to her knees and hugging her daughter as the starlight hair fades to bright crimson.

Tonks staying there with her mother, not knowing what to do but hug her.

Tonks finding out about Narcissa and Bellatrix, and for the first time in her life, realising the world isn't fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	62. wedding rings

James getting a ring from Euphemia a bit before first year started with the inscription J.P and him not taking it off throughout his life unless it was normal stuff. It could be described as a feminine and alot of people asked why he wore it but he never took it off. It was golden with a reflective stone on top. It was beautiful and he ended up getting Lily one that matched for an engagement ring. This ring he had gotten inscripted with L.E.P. "Look Lils, now we match!"

Both rings being taken by Sirius and him telling Hagrid before he leaves to take Lily's and give it to Dumbledore with a note that says  _ "Give this to Remus John Lupin." _ The old bastard, though an asshole in other areas, does. Both rings' stones are cracked. Neither Sirius not Remus (though they needed adjustment) took the rings off again. Both of them died with them on. James was returned to him and Harry recognized the beautiful golden ring, though it was cracked, from his parents wedding pictures and pictures after and he took it. He knew from the small inscription on the inside of the ring that it had once belonged to his mother.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sirius proposed with a black family heirloom, a beautiful yet understated silver band. remus was taken aback, he’d just gotten sirius back, but he was hardly one to refuse. 

I would love to believe Sirius had a screaming match with his mother to try and convince her to give it to him, and then threatening to burn down the home and find it in it's rubble. In the end, she yielded and he was able to get the rings.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dean and seamus were married first. their wedding, which harry and ginny attended happily, gave them the courage and inspiration to take the leap of faith and get married themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset), eli, and [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	63. james "the mother" potter

James’s mother would always care for him when he was sick by giving him soup, potions, sitting with him while he had coughing fits or threw up. James adopting these skills from her and using them with the Marauders, hence, James “The Mother” Potter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	64. the marauders club

The marauders weren't just a friend group. They considered themselves a club, and made pins and t-shirts for each member. Every prank they did, they left behind a signature of “the marauders were here- MWPP.” There was plenty of proof that they were the ones behind it all, but not conclusive enough to punish them for it. Some teachers might've disciplined them anyways, but Minerva McGonagall was nothing if not fair. Besides, most of the pranks were harmless, and occasionally even funny. Years later, looking through the old photo albums Sirius had brought to Grimmauld Place, McGonagall found one of the many photos of the four of them, with their arms raised high about their heads in an attempt to resemble the letters MWPP. While she was supposed to not have favorites, those four boys and the boys (and girl) that had followed were dear to her heart, and she would damned if Harry didn't get the happy ending they all deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by me ([@snapephobic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapephobic)) :)


	65. valentines day

in the weeks leading to valentine’s day, james potter became something of a relationship guru and middle man for his two best friends.

”james, can i ask you something? you have to promise not to tell moony though.”

“i need to ask you something, but you can’t tell padfoot, alright?”

and so james’ career as a valentine’s day professional began.

each day, remus and sirius would skirt around each other, neither of them knowing what to do for each other, acting as though james would have all the answers. 

“where do i take him? what are you getting for lily? do i get him anything? will he even like it? am i overreacting? i just want to make him happy...”

james was more than happy to oblige, reassuring his friends several times a day that yes, he likes you, yes, he’ll love it and to STOP STRESSING. 

it made his heart swell to have his friends finally open up about their relationship instead of hiding away, pretending it didn’t exist, as to not offend his and peter’s delicate heterosexual sensibilities (which he did NOT have, by the way).

so when the morning of february the 14th rolled around, and james, who had barely woken up just caught a whisper from outside his curtains.

sirius said to remus, ”happy valentine’s day, moony. i love you.” and remus laughed softly.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

And so from every Valentine's Day after James and Lily died Sirius would whisper "happy valentines day moony" and break down. While Remus, alone without any of his friends, would stare up at the star Sirius and cry, asking why, why, why would he do this

\------------------------------------------------------------------

the idea of remus being at his worst every valentine’s day every year until sirius was found innocent....remus feeling like such a fool for ever loving sirius the way he did, for ever believing that sirius loved him at all.

after sirius is out of azkaban, remus and sirius go to visit the graves of lily and james, after all, they owed their friends a visit. 

they gave each other space at godric’s hollow, time to talk to them alone, freely.

remus, slouched on his knees in front of lily and james, asked a single question.

“so, prongs, it’s valentine’s day next week. what do you think i should do?”

sirius, standing off in the distance, just caught what remus said, and felt a strange bubbling in his chest. something he hadn’t felt in a very long time. something he never thought he’d feel again, because he never thought remus would care for him that way again.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------

and so, when Sirius died he visited james again, crying, "so prongs, what do I do now?" not just asking about Valentine's Day but what was he supposed to do with himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves) and [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	66. this is so sad omg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: self harm

Remus’s senses were always uncomfortably heightened before the full moon.

Remus having to leave Potions class early because the smell is too strong and it’s giving him a headache.

Remus not being able to eat anything because it all smelled and tasted disgusting.

Remus not being able to sit in the Great Hall because the noise was too overwhelming.

Remus being able to smell the cuts under his students sleeves and going out of his way to make that student feel better.

Remus being able to hear a couple arguing in the common room and is always sure to make sure whoever is left crying is okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	67. yes this is a remus dying story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um remus dies in this? cw for death and grief

So say Remus and Sirius had survived and grown old together living in a lovely cottage near the Potters so they could watch the kids whenever Ginny and Harry were away.

Except that’s not the case.

Remus, as he gets older, slowly becomes weaker and weaker everyday. The wolf is starting to defeat him after he’s fought so long to keep it away. Sirius obviously notices something is wrong, he’s the first too, Sirius always was the one to know when something was off with his Moony. 

Imagine a few days before the full moon, Remus is unable to leave bed, he can’t even sit up because his body just simply aches. Sirius spends the day with him, stroking his hair worriedly while Remus tries to sleep. Harry checks in through the floo every so often, Teddy too. 

The full moon rolls around, it takes Sirius and Harry together to get Remus to the forest nearby. Remus has already taken his Wolfsbane. Harry hugs Sirius and then Remus and tells them to be careful and safe then apperates back to his family.

Now think about Sirius transforming into Padfoot and Remus watches him, well aware that this could be his last moon, Sirius doesn’t know, Remus didn’t want to worry him. The moon rises and Remus is screaming as the agony of transforming rips through his body. His bones breaking and reforming, muscles and tendons stretching, fur erupting across his whole body, brown eyes narrowing and turning amber, his legs and arms reforming. 

The transformation passes and the wolf collapses. Padfoot springs to his feet, whining worriedly and walking over, nudging at Moony with his nose. Moony tiredly opening his eyes and Sirius can see the pain in them. Padfoot curling up next to Moony.

They don’t move for the whole entire night. Padfoot sleeps, Remus can feel his own heartbeat and breathing slowly and fear and sorrow fill his heart. He touches his nose to Padfoot’s ear then lays his head on the grass, knowing very well that he wouldn’t be getting up again. His heart stops. Dead.

Padfoot waking up in the morning to a cold body pressed against him. He immediately transforms back into Sirius. Remus is lying on the ground, his eyes closed, his chest isn’t rising and falling and Sirius panics and shakes Remus and pats his face repeating over and over again, “Moony? Remus?” 

He tries to wake Remus up for over an hour but Remus doesn’t move, his skin is cold, his heart isn’t beating and Sirius has to accept the truth. Remus is dead and he was alone. Sirius sends a Patronus to Harry, asking him to come back to the forest.

Everything after is a blur. He remembers Harry gently coaxing him away from Remus as Teddy collapses to his knees beside his father, sobbing and begging Remus to come back. He remembers Harry calling Andromeda and Ron to come help. He remembers his cousin quietly leading him away and the whole time Sirius is just staring blankly ahead because his soulmate was DEAD

And he curses that moon, he screams at it yet doesn’t utter a single sound. He wants to destroy it, he wants to get revenge on it for killing the love of his life. 

Everything else was grey because Remus was dead. And Sirius was alone.

Sirius retreats back into himself, he builds walls around him and swears to never let them down. He’s done that too many times and he’s learned what comes out of it. Love only causes pain. That’s what he has learned.

He loved James. He lost James.

He loved Lily. He lost Lily too.

He loved Regulus. He lost Regulus.

Sirius Black had loved and loved and all that came out of it was pain pain pain pain.

He had lost his Moony now too.

Anything for our Moony....what a bunch of bullshit. Because Moony wasn’t here now, neither were Prongs or Wormtail.

Padfoot was alone. And so was Sirius.

Remus’s funeral rolled around. Sirius hated it.

He hated all the fake speeches about what a great man Remus had been.

Only Harry gave a heartfelt one, Sirius trusted Harry to do so.

Sirius would have spoken if he could, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t put into words how...what Remus had meant to him. 

Remus had been the sun and Sirius had been a planet revolving around him. Now without his sun, Sirius had no idea what he would do.

It was torture, brutal torture.

Sirius Black became a husk of a man. He drifted around like a ghost, his eyes blank, his face pale and sunken, his hair tangled and filthy. 

Remus had always teased him when his hair started to get dirty.

Sirius Black was no more. Sirius Black couldn’t be Sirius Black without Remus Lupin.

And now, there was no Remus Lupin.

And Sirius was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	68. family to remus lupin

Remus Lupin never really understood family. He tilted his head curiously when he saw parents talking to their children, he didn’t understand. His parents didn’t do that.

Remus Lupin never understood when children were smothered in love and hugs and kisses and how parents looked at their kids with such adoration. Sometimes he thought it would make him sick.

Remus Lupin understood family, but not in the way that you would think.

To Remus Lupin, family was silence. Tension. 

To Remus Lupin, family was harsh words exchanged at night.

To Remus Lupin, family was lonesome and dull.

To Remus Lupin, family was his mother looking at him with watery eyes and pitying glances.

To Remus Lupin, family was his father ignoring and avoiding him at all costs.

Remus got the message pretty early on that family was nothing. He didn’t realize family meant anything until he saw other people.

He didn’t understand family until he met the Marauders. They became his brothers and they helped him understand family.

Then Remus Lupin lost his family once again.

He had been told at an early age, that family meant nothing.

He was promised that family did mean something though. When he met his brothers.

Well, promises did have an odd way of getting broken, didn’t they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	69. sibling rivalry

Regulus Black was the definition of unreadable.

His expression was always closed off, his eyes carefully cold.

He wasn’t even know as “Regulus Black”.

He was know as “Sirius Black’s brother”.

What a pathetic way to live.

Regulus...loved his brother....in a way.

It was complicated.

Then again, so was everything.

Regulus lived his whole life in Sirius’s shadow. He didn’t mind so much when they were younger because Sirius had always been there to protect him.

But now that Regulus was older, he wanted to prove himself. He wanted to show that he wasn’t just “Sirius’s brother.”

He was Regulus.

So he tried, he tried and tried again to prove himself time after time.

It worked, sometimes.

It wasn’t until he was in that god awful cave and getting dragged down my Inferi that he realized that this was his moment. He was proving himself here, by helping defeat Voldemort.

Outdoing his brother be dammed. This was for the entirety of the Wizarding World.

So, Regulus Arcturus Black died knowing that he had proved himself even though his brother still hated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	70. madam puddifoot's

sirius black had always gone on about how ridiculous madame puddifoots tea shop was, “it’s so pink and frilly, too tacky for my taste.” 

so when valentine’s day rolled around, remus knew exactly where to take sirius out. he booked a table in advance, knowing it’d be packed for the special occasion, and made sure to ask for an inconspicuous one so as to be slightly more discrete and not embarrass sirius entirely. 

keeping it hidden was hard, but when they finally arrived at the little tea shop on the morning of the special hogsmeade trip, sirius felt a mixture of admiration and disgust.

surely remus knew how he felt about the place. what sirius didn’t realise is that’s exactly why remus chose it.

to remus’ delight they enjoyed tea and an assortment of sandwiches and cakes before they decided to move on to the other places they needed to get to. scrivenshafts, honey dukes, zonkos, of course, and finally the three broomsticks to join the others. 

—————

that evening sirius lay cuddled up next to remus, begging for his words to be taken back. “it’s actually quite lovely inside,” “the food was delicious,” “i guess when you’re with the right person it really is not a bad place for some time alone together.”

—————

every hogsmeade trip after that, remus was elated by sirius’ insistence to drop in to the little tea shop, even briefly, for some time together away from the their other friends.

the table in the shadowy corner was their spot they had claimed, and most every hogwarts student in their right mind knew the table was to be cleared when they came in, out of respect to the infamous pranksters.

—————

now, for the first time in 16 years, remus walked the streets of hogsmeade alone.

the journey was painful enough, being there without his closest friends, but as he rounded the corner the knot in his stomach twisted even tighter. 

the flouncy pink store front assaulted his senses and his eyes pricked with tears as the memories of all those visits came flooding back. the pang of that first valentine’s day together all those years ago tainted by the betrayal. 

remembering how the man he sat with in that little tea shop had caused such an impact on his life, only to leave so abruptly, taking all happiness and love with him. 

remus’ only choice now to continue past, pick up the things he needed and ignore the sadness in his heart as he had done now for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	71. james "the empath" potter

james potter, the empath himself, never lost his knack for looking out for his friends, even as the war drew to a close and his death was on the horizon, albeit unknowingly.

peter pettigrew was on edge, just like the rest of them. james potter noticed.

he never failed to ask if wormtail was doing ok, to which wormtail always said yes. 

james potter trusted peter pettigrew with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	72. these characters need therapy

remus and harry not knowing how to comfort each other after sirius died. harry had just gotten the godfather he always deserved ripped away from him, in front of his eyes. just like harry had james and lily torn away from him in an eerily similar fashion. remus had lost the love of his life for the second time, but this time, it was for good. he felt disgusted with himself. it wasn’t right that he was still alive. it should’ve been him, not sirius who died. sirius, who was just starting to live again after 12 years in azkaban. remus thought it was a disgrace that he got to know sirius as well as he did, while harry and sirius were just starting to get to know each other, to become family. remus thought himself undeserving of knowing james, lily and sirius as well as he did, when harry had could not, and would never be able to say the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	73. corporeal

when harry produced his first corporeal patronus, and the misty silver stag leapt around the room, remus only had one thing to say to harry. ”your father would be so proud of you.” harry didn’t think much of the praise from professor lupin, after all, lots of adults told him that he was just like his father, or his mother, or that he was making them proud. harry didn’t know that professor lupin was really thinking about prongs, his best friend, the illegal teenage animagus who risked it all for a werewolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	74. finally some jily

lily and james’ first date happened by mistake. they were all meant to go to hogsmeade as a group like always. but as the weekend drew nearer, everyone seemed to make plans. peter was catching up with some of his friends from the chess club to talk about an upcoming house tournament, and marlene and mary had decided they’d stay back at school and catch up on their herbology and transfiguration homework. the workload was piling up more than ever so it was only fair. in the end it was sirius, james, remus and lily making their way down to the village, following up the throng of students, making sure no-one got lost or left behind. sirius wished to visit zonkos as usual, whilst remus needed to stop into scrivenshafts and of course he wanted to visit the book shop. james had nothing to do specifically, so offered to accompany lily when she said she was in the need of a new cauldron. hers had warped in their last potion lesson when peter had tripped and knocked in too much knotgrass. as the pairs headed in opposite directions, lily and james found themselves alone together. it wasn’t out of the ordinary to be alone being head boy and girl, but it was usually when they were on patrol. remus and sirius, agreed to take this as an opportunity to leave james and lily to it and hide out in the hogshead when they were done with their shopping. with a new cauldron in possession, lily suggested honeydukes when they couldn’t find the other boys out in the street anywhere. james obliged and decided he’d go for it and buy lily an ice cream or something, be a gentleman. 

with handfuls of candy payed for and shoved into the cauldron, james followed lily out with two ice-creams in hand and traded one for the now heavy container. they took a stroll to the edge of town. completely alone and without imminent responsibility, they found themselves chatting and opening up to each other more than usual. the conversation continued till lily tripped on a root and as james scrambled to catch her, ended up falling on top of her. the two of them both taken aback, rolled around laughing for a few minutes. when they found it in themselves to get up they reluctantly headed back into town to the three broomsticks. that’s where sirius and remus found them later, chuckling, huddled up together on one side of the booth in the back corner, nursing mugs of butter beer. exchanging knowing looks, they shuffled into the bench on the other side of the table and ordered another round of drinks for the group. and that is where the four of them stayed, chatting, until they inevitably had to head back up to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	75. hey man i love you but no fcking way

Remus,  
Was all he could write in his shaky lettering before he heard it. Footsteps. He hastily shoved away his quill and parchment as though his life depended on on it, which it did. He'd just gotten up before Walburga burst in his room. "What were you doing?" she demanded. "N-nothing." he replied, already in pain and struggling to stand. She slapped him. "Liar! Muggle-loving liar! Probably writing to your little blood traitor friends, or the half-blood." Sirius wanted to charge her for speaking against his friend but he knew he couldn't. He settled for "Shut up." Walburga stepped back. "You'll regret that."

This was the night Sirius Black ran away.  
This was the night Regulus begged his brother not to leave him.  
This was the night Sirius Black flooed to James Potter's house, bleeding, barely able to stand.  
This was the night James Potter accepted his brother with open arms, realizing just how bad it was.  
This was the night Euphemia Potter accepted her son with open arms, wanting to curse his parents into oblivion.  
This was the night Sirius Black was saved.  
This was the night Regulus Black was destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset)


	76. the worst full moon

the first full moon after lily and james’ deaths, after sirius is put in prison, is the worst full moon of remus’ life. the wolf and remus, two entities yet one in the same. one’s pain is the other’s, and remus lupin is in more pain than he’s ever been in his entire life. the skies are clear, the full moon hung high and bright in the sky. the wolf howls in anguish, the wolf lets out all of remus pain, but he doesn’t stop hurting. the howls carry across the wind, far and wide. they’re mourning. far away, in a lonely azkaban cell as the waves crash and the wind whirls, sirius black looks out at the night sky through the wrought iron bars. the full moon, clear as can be, mocking him. he’s not sure whether or not it’s moony or the dementors already starting to infect his mind, but he hears a distant howl. his mind tells him that he’s just hearing things, but his heart knows that his moony is out there, alone, roaming the wilderness without him. moony all alone, howling in pain. and it’s all because of him. moony wasn’t his anymore, he never would be again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	77. remus lupin: tale of the three brothers edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for minor mention of eating disorder

Remus Lupin, age 60, and still miraculously alive despite his lycanthropy. Remus Lupin aching anytime he moved, his bones creaking and cracking painfully. Remus Lupin being unable to keep food down and spends half his time throwing it up until he no longer feels the need to eat. Remus Lupin being overwhelmed with the sorrow and grief that has constantly shadowed his life. Remus Lupin as frail as a twig yet still so strong. Remus Lupin wanting to give up, wanting to give up on his next full moon and just die. But he doesn’t. Harry needs him, Minerva needs him, so does Poppy and many others. He’s the only remaining link to some of the people those people held dearest. So Remus Lupin stays, he keeps fighting and he will keep fighting until the day he dies. When the day finally comes, he goes happily and gratefully, reassuring his family that they would be okay without him there and reassuring them that he would be happy. Remus Lupin greets death as an old friend. He’s happy to see his friends and his lover. Moony is too. Remus Lupin in gone yet the world still goes on as usual. His family grieve, he would be slightly offended if they didn’t. Remus Lupin has done enough fighting in his life and now he can rest with his brothers and his lover. Remus Lupin was peaceful at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	78. a strong reminder

remus, as the sole survivor of his friends, struggled to justify his continued existence. as he watched harry struggle, almost die himself, then survive and keep on living, living the life with a family his father, and the rest of them never had the opportunity for, remus was reminded of his purpose. to be there for harry. to be the family harry needed, until harry grew up and made his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	79. more cursed child content oo

Remus Lupin being there for the birth of James Sirius Potter and watching Harry pace nervously and seeing James all over again. Harry telling Remus what his son’s name was going to be and Remus struggling to keep his tears in. Harry naming Remus honorary godfather of James Sirius Potter and Remus choking up as he holds this tiny creature in his arms and seeing an exact replica of Harry again. Remus swearing to never let anything happen to Harry Potter’s beautiful son and his beautiful names even if it kills him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons)


	80. afterlife fluff

sirius and regulus in the afterlife, finally reconciling, sirius learning that regulus died a lonely hero. he would never forgive himself until the end of time for failing his little brother like that.  
but it was behind them now, and they could be family again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	81. the dog's regret

if sirius had trusted himself enough to be the sole bearer, everything would’ve been ok. he could’ve guarded lily and james’ where about with his life. but he didn’t, he panicked and got a bright idea to give the role to peter instead. if sirius had been honest with remus, everything would've been ok. they could’ve kept an eye on peter and ensured the secret stayed a secret. but he wasn’t, he was untrusting and worried about the rumours flying around the order. if sirius had stayed calm, everything would've been ok. remus would’ve come and they could’ve talked to dumbledore about the future. but he wasn’t, he freaked out at the sight of his best friends dead on the floor. if sirius had tracked down and tricked peter for “a chat”, everything would've been ok. the order could’ve brought him on for justice. but he didn’t, he searched him out in a rage of furry and betrayal. if sirius had just been level headed and trusted in his lover, everything would've been ok. but his wild, stubborn school boy ways stuck to him like glue, and his reckless reactions got the better of him. and remus hated him everyday because of it. forced to spend 12 years alone, in pain and misery thinking the love of his life, his soulmate, had betrayed them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	82. a feeling of betrayal

Remus finally returning from a mission with the werewolf packs and attending an Order meeting. Remus seeing a tattoo peeking out from underneath Sirius’s sleeve and asking him about it. Sirius just staring at him coldly and saying, “James and I got matching ones months ago. If you had been here you would have known.” Remus recoiling in surprise at Sirius’s tone. This is the moment he realized that Sirius thought that he was the traitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	83. marauder grandparents aww

now let’s pretend that remus and sirius didn’t die and lived happily ever after! remus and sirius as grandparents to the potter children. sirius passing on his leather jacket to albus potter, who was developing quite a keen sense of style that made sirius proud. remus teaching james potter how to produce a patronus charm when he struggled with it, just like he’d taught harry. remus and sirius having their hearts swell with pride at lily luna, who advocated for werewolf rights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	84. grimmauld place

Sirius wandering the halls of Grimmauld Place alone during his house arrest. Sirius trying to block out all the horrible memories from his childhood. Sirius wishing that the Order was here to fill the gloomy house with life and laughter. Sirius feeling like he was in Azkaban again, alone and sad. And without his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	85. what could've been

had remus and sirius had the chance to raise harry, he would’ve known all about his parents. their pranks, their triumphs, their charisma but also their fails and their falls. they were human after all they weren’t perfect. harry deserved to know everything about them that the two men could offer. they would speak of peter, the betrayer, with distaste but they would answer any questions harry had. he was their friend for so long after all. the two would warn harry to keep everyone within reach, never let them stray for fear of betrayal. harry would have learnt of hogwarts and the possibilities the hallways held. known every single passage way and tunnel on his first day, equipped with the cloak from the start, and told where to find the map if it hadn’t already been located. the possibilities of harry’s knowledge of the both wizard and muggle worlds could’ve been endless, but these chances were cut short when a scruffy, untrusting young man, fell off the deep end, and threw his life away because of another mans betrayal. sirius lost his spark. remus lost his closest friends. but worst of all, harry lost his chance at a family and a (semi) normal wizarding life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	86. living in constant fear

One night in the Shrieking Shack, Moony getting to restless and attacking Prongs, managing to claw his shoulder and his face before Padfoot dragged him off and drove him back. In the morning when Remus woke up, only Peter was there with a horrified expression on his face and Remus knew something has happened. Remus seeing James the next day with two claw marks slashed across his nose and his left shoulder swathed in bandages. Remus staring in horror. James seeing Remus and immediately starting to run over and tell him it’s not his fault. Remus bolting. Remus not talking to James for weeks because he had hurt his best friend. One year later, Remus still always avoiding looking at James’s face where the two pale scars rested. A few months later, James finally catching Remus alone and telling him over and over that it wasn’t his fault. Remus shaking his head and James saying, “Look at me, Moony.” and Remus reluctantly looks at James’s face. James grins, the scars stretch with his face and all James says is, “We’re matching now!” And Remus just hugs him, apologizing over and over and James letting him even though he had forgiven Remus the second Moony had clawed him.

Remus tracing his own scars after 1981 and thinking of how they had looked on James’s joyful face. On James, they had looked like proof of bravery and strength. On Remus, they looked like a monster’s work, ugly and cruel. It made sense though, James had always been the better person. He had always been stronger and braver. Remus was a monster, James was a hero. Remus hated his scars and he hated himself for giving those scars to James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	87. memories of days long past

remus never threw out his old hogwarts uniform. the tie, the sweater, the gryffindor banner. he kept it sealed away, hidden in the darkest corner of the cupboard with a preserving charm, as though that box held more of remus lupin than the man he was now. after remus tells grant everything, grant finds the box and takes a look inside. the bold red and gold is what he noticed first. he doesn’t know anything about hogwarts houses and what they mean, but he knows the colours must’ve suited remus, the bastard. there’s a picture, the wizarding kind, as grant had come to learn. “1977” the back says. there’s four boys and a girl, all dressed in uniform, ties robes and all. posh fuckers grant chuckles to himself. he spots remus first, a lanky arm draped around a bloke with long hair who must be sirius black. then there’s peter, then james and lily, his also draped around her, mirroring the boys on the other end of the photo. they’re all laughing, smiling, happy as can be. he can almost see the twinkling in all of their eyes. this was the best time of remus’ life he realised, thinking of the man currently passed out on the couch. it was sobering, to then remember that remus was the only one in that photograph left. four were dead, and the other one in jail for his unforgivable crimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	88. grant chapman fanpage

grant was the first person to learn about remus’ lycanthropy without judging him. after all, he was a muggle, what did they know of the register, or werewolves being denied jobs, and the general casting out from society. of course, grant knew that oppression felt like, he knew it too well, but he didn’t know of lycanthropy in the way the marauders, or lily, or madam pomfrey or anyone other magical folk. grant took it as just another part of remus, his remus, his love.

when grant’s first child, a magical one, finally came of age and was permitted to do magic outside of school. the first spell grant saw them do was lumos, the first spell he saw remus do, when he first learned about magic. though remus left the earth and took his magic with him, remus’ presence seemed to follow him everywhere he went. from unknowingly adopting a magical child, to meeting teddy, remus’ shapeshifting son for christ’s sake, to the eery parallel in the first spell he watched them do. remus was his little bit of magic. remus might be long gone, but his magic persisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	89. hogsmeade dates x

each hogsmeade visit, sirius and remus try to pair off together for some time alone. they walk shoulder to shoulder around the outskirts of town relishing in the privacy of the thick shrubbery around them. often their fingers brush and they each feel the all too familiar butterflies. 

the treasured time together is far and few between but they make it work. they always make sure to visit the book store. 

“don't you have enough books my love?”

“there’s never enough books in the world, come on now, they might have something new in!” 

sirius acts reluctant as remus drags him into the old store. what sirius will never truly let slip to remus is the joy he has in watching the lit up expression on his moony’s face when there’s a new story to be read. he himself also takes an interest to some of the old leather bound books in the back, and swears to himself to one day get through the whole collection on that shelf, without tainting his nonchalant bad boy reputation. 

they share in the joy of buying each other sweets from honey dukes, trying out all the new flavours and treats. and of course sirius drags remus into zonkos, simultaneously hoping to run into james, but also for no one else to be there. 

“you little deviant, my god, don't you have a life time supply of stink bombs hidden under your bed?” 

”you’re mistaken, my love, james and i used them all just last week. a true prankster must always be ready for anything.”   
remus stalks in behind his boyfriend averting his eyes from the shelves. he knows he’d spend all his money in a heart beat if he let himself. he was the brains of the operation, leaving the purchasing up to the two mischievous pureblood boys. remus' greatest pleasure in visiting the joke shop was to watch the cogs turn in sirius' brain. the childish glee and complete bliss, in his element, surrounded by absolute chaos.

between the two of them, as reluctant as they may behave towards the others passion, their time together alone is blissful. they disguise their joy from each other, to keep something little to themselves. sirius will always adore remus’ obsession with reading and heavy books. the boy will never let him help to carry each trips additions to his ever growing library, regardless of if its 2 books or 10. remus will always admire sirius’ passion for pranking. seeing all the the odd knickknacks and doodas that would evidently end up scattered across the dorm room floor later that evening. 

the mystery they keep between them is little but it brings them endless joy. they keep the all too familiar butterflies from flying away too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	90. sad deaths nooo

When James Potter died, it was as if the world was drenched in immediate dullness. James Potter had always been so full of warmth and energy. He had always been so positive and devoted. James Potter had wanted to make the world a better place for everybody. James Potter had been the sun, always brilliant and shinning and warm. James Potter been a source of joy in the dark times of the war and now that he was dead.... It was like frigid water had been poured over the world and it was dark and dull without James Potter’s brilliant, shining warmth and strength.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Imagine Sirius finding out about Regulus’s death. They’re all sitting and laughing in James’s flat when an owl comes flying in through the window and drops a letter in Sirius’s lap, it’s from the Ministry of Magic. Sirius opens it and reads it, his face slowly getting paler and paler and he abruptly stands up and apparates out and back to his flat. When he gets there, he screams and throws things. He throws vases and chairs, he punches the walls, he messes up the beds and he kicks his table over. And he destroys and destroys until there’s nothing left and he’s surrounded by a complete mess. Then the front door flies open and Remus, James and Peter come running in. Sirius slumps against a wall and slides to the floor and begins to cry while the others watch in shock. Then James slowly kneels down beside Sirius and hugs him, then Remus joins in and then Peter too. Finally, Sirius whispers, just barely able to be heard,,,,,,,,,,, “I want my brother back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	91. animagi

towards the end of their seventh year as lily gets closer with the marauders than ever before (partly pertaining to the fact she’s always sitting on james' lap all the time without a care - the common room, the boys dorm, even the great hall sometimes). lily has obviously found out about not only remus' furry little secret, but also the three boys’ illegal dedication to their friend, and she wants in. 

but she doesn’t tell any of them about it. she goes through the process by herself in the hopes that she can help out too, and when she finally completes the extensive tasks, she transforms for the first time into a gorgeous cat. 

she shows james with excitement and he’s ecstatic, but also inherently protective. he refuses to let lily tell remus about it, that its too dangerous for her to join them ( like the protective gentleman he is). and lily, as much as it pains her, acknowledges that maybe she overstepped on their marauders business, so she keeps it between herself and james. 

its kept a secret till years later, when sirius walks into the potters’ flat to find a ginger cat curled up on the bench by the window, basking in the sunshine. "james, when the hell did you get a cat, and why didn’t i know about it?" he asks in a joking manner.

in a panic lily jumps up from her warm spot, much to sirius' surprise, and hurriedly tries to explain herself to him. but he is in tears as he holds lily to his chest, squeezing her till she gasps for air. he can't believe how selfless lily is to do such a thing for the love of his life. 

but remus never finds out. it has become a secret that stays between james, sirius, and lily. lily had accepted it was not her place to invade on their monthly escapades, and sirius pointed out that peter probably wouldn’t be a fan of the cat side of things.

on the night of october 31st. that fateful night. sirius showed up to the house to find james’ body collapsed on the stairs. he cried out, unable to compose himself as he realised he lost his best friend, his brother. 

running up the stairs, he saw lily’s lifeless body strewn to the side and weeped even more than before. noticing poor harry blabbering and crying to his old uncle padfoot. attempting to comfort him he realised what had happened and couldn’t bear to live with himself. he’d practically betrayed his best friends. he gave up the role. and oh- he’d thought it was remus. how could he have ever thought it was remus? 

collapsing to the floor, he stayed there till hagrid showed up and insisted he had to take harry to dumbledore. after that, sirius decided on what to do and the rest is history.

they say that james and lily’s bodies were buried next to each other in the graveyard of godric’s hollow. a statue put up to commemorate the young family who sacrificed themselves for the greater good. but theres a ginger cat that sits around the graveyard, watching over the tombs, specifically one marked with the young potters’ birthday and date of death. 

remus notices the gorgeous cat. approaches it carefully and offers scratches. it makes visiting his friends slightly more bearable, knowing theres company. but as the moons get worse without his companions, he retreats into himself and stops visiting. 

the ginger cat disappears from the graveyard, and no one is sure what happened to it until one hermione granger appears in the pet shop along diagon alley, takes one look at the long matted fur and the tired mournful eyes, and decides the feline is just the one for her.

that’s when lily, now affectionately named crookshanks, notices the rat tucked up in ronald weasley’s pocket. she is determined to get her revenge on the rodent and makes it her duty whilst at hogwarts to track him down and be rid of the betrayer.

the rest of the year goes by, and that night in the shrieking shack, sirius recognises the ginger haired cat, but doesn’t say a word to anyone. it can’t be, he thinks, she’s dead. 

but they remain connected up until the end of sirius’ life. its a comfort to sirius to know shes there, even if he cant say anything to anyone, it’ll only break everyone’s realities as they know it. so he keeps it to himself and the secret of lily’s alternate form, her life, dies along with the raven haired man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	92. i cannot do this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for cancer and mentions of sickness

Imagine that one day, Remus gets really, really fucking sick. He’s exhausted, coughing, has a stomachache and is throwing up. Imagine the Marauders knowing something is up and trying to convince him to not go to class and to go to Madam Pomfrey to see what was wrong.

Remus, being the stubborn git he is, waves it off and says he’s fine and that he must’ve just caught something. The Marauders reluctantly agree but still keep a close on him throughout the day. During classes, Remus is looking more tired and pained by the minute and finally James stands up in the middle of Transfiguration and tells McGonagall he’s taking Remus to the Hospital Wing.

Remus is barely lucid as James hauls him to his feet and Sirius and Peter jump up too, instinctively worried for Remus. On the way to the Hospital Wing, Remus passes out mid-way. Sirius runs ahead to get Madam Pomfrey and soon returns with her.

Now, imagine James, Sirius and Peter huddled worriedly around Remus’s bed as Pomfrey runs diagnostic spells. The spells don’t tell her what’s really happening.

Hours pass and Remus finally wakes up again. The others have stayed there, refusing to get a blink of sleep. Not when their Moony was sick. Remus unexpectedly throwing up again and he groans in pain because his entire body is just in pain pain pain pain.

The Marauders are panicking because they have no idea what is going on, Pomfrey is desperately trying to calm them and tell them that she will figure it out and that Remus will be okay.

—————————————-

Days passing and the Marauders still haven’t slept. They remain at Remus’s side with dark eye bags and the whites of their eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and crying. Each day is a repeat. Remus wakes up, he ||throws up||, he passes out again. Sirius is the first one to pass out from exhaustion, slumping to the side on James’s shoulder and falling asleep there. Peter is the next to go.

James stays stubbornly awake though. Remus starts developing a fever and his body heats up at a terrifying speed. It’s been two days now and Remus hasn’t woken again. He’s still breathing though and that keeps James....somewhat reassured.

One hour later, James passes out too. He falls off his chair onto the ground, causing a domino effect above him. Sirius slumps over the arm of the chair James had occupied and Peter leans to the side so his shoulder digs into Sirius’s spine. Madam Pomfrey finds them like that, sighs and moves them all into beds to rest.

Remus wakes up again, fevered but more lucid. He doesn’t throw up this time, but instead starts coughing violently and something metallic stings his throat and he spits out a mouthful of blood onto the sheets gasping for air.

Madam Pomfrey rushing over and quickly cleaning it up but sneakily taking a sample from the mess to test.

———————————-

Thirty minutes later, Sirius wakes up.

Ten minutes later, James does

Five minutes later, Peter does.

No words are spoken. But the other three take their spots at Remus’s side again.

—————————————

One day later, Madam Pomfrey has results.

It’s a muggle illness called cancer

Remus freezes.

The other three are confused.

Pomfrey explains.

Peter cries.

Sirius yells despairingly into a pillow.

Silent tears trickle from James’s eyes and he has to leave briefly to compose himself.

That explained Remus’s constant throwing up.

That explained his coughs that brought up blood.

That explained his body aches.

Remus Lupin had cancer and there was nothing anybody could do about it.

Cancer couldn’t be healed with magic. Sirius asked.

———————————

Months pass, Remus isn’t getting better.

James, Sirius and Peter’s grades have become horrible. They don’t care.

Remus just barely survived the full moons, even with Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs at his side.

Hogwarts wonders what has happened to their gang of mischief makers.

Remus wonders if his next breath will be his last.

—————————

Two weeks pass and Remus is still getting weaker and James, Sirius and Peter have to accept the fact that they are most likely going to lose their Moony soon.

James doesn’t bother to hide his sobs.

Sirius screams in anger and pain.

Peter cries too.

Remus had lost a deadly amount of weight. The next full moon is coming up and James, Sirius and Peter don’t know if they can take it.

Pomfrey suggests they remain in the castle.

They immediately deny it. If their Moony is going to go tonight, they’re going to be there with him no matter what.

Pomfrey knows better then to argue with them.

—————————

The night of the full moon is full of despair as The Marauders make their way towards the shack.

All of them are trembling.

The moon comes out. Remus transforms.

The wolf lets out a high keening howl and stumbles over. Padfoot whines. Prongs makes a worried huffing sound and Wormtail squeaks.

Moony doesn’t get up. His eyes stay open and his chest moving shallowly up and down.

The night passes in tense silence.

In the morning, Remus Lupin lay still, no twitching or shivering. Nothing.

James screams.

Sirius does too and collapses to his knees beside Remus.

Peter sobs.

Dumbledore, McGonagall and Pomfrey are there and gently coax them away.

Remus Lupin was gone, dead at the age of 17.

And the Marauders would be forever incomplete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excuse you, you don't get to break my heart like this [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	93. all my fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for mentions of self hate

Sirius would forever be burdened by the knowledge that it really was his fault that they were dead. He was the one who had convinced them to change the secret keeper to Peter. He punched the walls and he screamed and cried because it was all his fault. The old Sirius would have hidden this emotion but he wasn’t the “old Sirius” anymore. He was a bad man even if he had done nothing wrong. He was the reason Harry was now an orphan. He was the reason James and Lily were dead. Peter may have given up the Potters location but he wouldn’t have been able to if Sirius hadn’t convinced them to change. Sirius screaming for Remus. Sirius crying and begging for Remus to come save him from this horrible place even though he didn’t deserve it. Sirius praying for Remus’s comfort and never getting it. Sirius being forced to know that Remus hated him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	94. we love sirius black in this house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for mentions of abuse

The fact that Sirius never knew that Harry was being abused at home in Prisoner of Azkaban. He assumed that Harry would want to stay with his “family” and not him. Imagine how it must have clicked for Sirius when Harry immediately said that he would rather be with Sirius, an escaped prisoner, who he had only just learned was his godfather, rather than his biological family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	95. andromeda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of remadora

Andromeda Tonks was alone when she learned that Ted died. Her daughter was out fighting in the war. And now her husband was dead. And she was alone. Soon she lost her daughter too, and her daughter’s husband, who had been her cousin’s soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	96. the unfinished letter

after godric’s hollow was left in ruins, the first thing sirius black saw was james and lily, lifeless on the floor. their eyes wide open. they greeted death fearlessly. of course they did. so he closed them. then there was harry, who’d already stopped crying as sirius picked him up and held him tighter than he’d ever held his godson before. there was one more thing though, one more thing that broke through sirius’ fog of disbelief of what had happened. a piece of parchment sitting at the desk, the quill left lying on top and the ink pot spilled on the wood in the upset. dear padfoot... the letter said, and sirius felt the ground beneath him begin to crumble. he’d never know what that letter was going to say because james was dead. if his body left on the floor didn’t tell him enough, the thought of james, his best friend, who he’d never hear from again finally did. what did james want to tell him? he’d never know. the fog had lifted, and the weight of the world came crashing down onto his shoulders. he fell to his knees, harry in one arm, who began to cry again, and the almost blank piece of parchment in the other. he clutched the piece of paper so tight that his knuckles were white, the sound of his and harry’s sobs filling the room. dear padfoot the letter began. just what was it that he had to say?

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

James had written one to Remus too. He had sent it off with his owl minutes before his death, seconds before he started writing one to Sirius. Remus got the letter and opened it. All it said inside was: _we’re gonna be alright, Moony._ _\- prongs_ The next morning, when Remus hears the news, he breaks down and can’t pull himself together until several hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves) and [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	97. physical contact (wolfstar)

Neither Remus nor Sirius like physical contact very much. They both came from backgrounds that taught them that being touched by another person usually ended badly – in pain and discomfort. But from the first time they met, they were comfortable with each other. They faced each other on the train on their first day into Hogwarts, and both understood deep within themselves that they had a connection they couldn’t ignore. They just didn’t understand it yet.

They were both sorted into Gryffindor and their place at the dining table next to each other became theirs, right there next to each other shoulder to shoulder. Their first night in the common room was spent on the couch next to each other in front of the fire. This spot yet again became theirs, and no one questioned the way their limbs intertwined together so they could both fit as their bodies grew. Sirius had James to go to and Remus had the girls, but the two boys were joint in an unspeakable way. Touching each other just made sense. There was a warmth where they touched each other. A warmth where if anyone else had touched would’ve felt cold and uncomfortable. Neither wanted to be touched, they couldn’t bear it, unless it was by the other.

As their connection grew, it surpassed touching. They connected on another level. Sitting next to each other at the dining table they knew when the other couldn’t bear to eat but piled up their plate anyway. Whether it was around the full moon, or because of a letter from home, they would insist upon eating. They would lay together at night, falling asleep intertwined with one another. Their beds were next to each other, they always had been but there came a time early on that before either could all asleep, they’d end up in the same sheets, for the closeness of another. Their warm bodies providing a comfort they’d never experienced anywhere else.

In all their time, they’d never thought anything of this relationship. Other people had suggested things in passing but they’d never dwelled upon it. They would sit up, tangled with one another on the couch, Remus reading and Sirius fiddling with something for the next big prank. They would always come back to each other for the familiar support. They both realised their feelings for each other around the same time, but neither wanted to ruin their bond by owning up to it. So, they remained how they always had been, not acknowledging the yearning that now came along with the warmth. When they finally admitted their feelings for one another it was such a relief to the both. But nothing much changed. The spot at the dining table was still theirs. Their spot on the couch by the fire was still theirs. And everyone was none the wiser till Lily caught them snogging behind a tapestry in between classes one day – four and a half weeks later.

\---

Years after hogwarts, they lay together in their shared bed. No longer squeezing in to the small Hogwarts dorm beds, but sharing their very own double bed in their very own apartment. They fell asleep intertwined, as they always had, whispering sweet nothings to one another. 

It was after that fateful night when Remus found out his boyfriend had betrayed everyone, that Remus wished he’d ignored those feelings al those years ago. the connection they couldn't ignore, he wished to god he’d ignored it. The boy he’d poured so much of himself into, had turned out to be just like his family. Those nights they'd shared, the laughs they’d had all meant nothing. Every memory of those once blissful years now tainted by the man he thought he loved. His skin now burned. Not with warmth from Sirius' touch. Not with a desire for the only warmth he’d ever known. But a disgusting, dirty feeling that hed ever trusted the touch of such a man that could give up the lies of the people closest to him. He wanted to be rid of the thought that he’d ever let that man touch him because after all - being touched by another had only ever ended badly - and this was the worst pain he’d ever felt.

\---

Now 12 years later Remus couldn't believe it. He’d convinced himself that the man hed once loved was horrible. He’d spent weeks washing himself clean of the disgusting man’s touch. His skin was raw from the way he attempted to be rid of the idea he’d ever let such a traitor in so close. But now he was back. Sirius Black was back. And he wished hed never felt all those awful things. He wished he could erase the last 12 years. He wished they had never happened because his warmth was back. That connection he’d learnt to ignore, the yearning he’d despised himself for, he wanted to take it all back. Because his soulmate was back in his arms and he was innocent. 

As their bodies pressed together now, Remus felt the all too familiar warmth he’d spent so long trying to forget and hate. He held sirius so close to himself, scared to let him go. And though it may be different now, they fell asleep intertwined with one another whispering sweet nothings and relishing in a warmth the both of them had missed for 12 bloody years.

\---

Two years. Two years they'd had together. They had tried so hard to ignore the 12 apart and relish in the fact they were back together. When sirius came back he was a shell of a man, but with the same love, the same connection, the same warmth from so long before. Remus knew exactly how to support him - make him human again, fill the shell of the man. 2 years of constant touch. They couldn't bear to be apart and lose the warmth. They'd both been so cold for so long that to have it back felt like absolute bliss. And now after 2 years he was gone again. Not like last time though. Remus' soul shattered as he realised. His light was gone, his heat had been extinguished. As he lay in his bed by himself, he stared at the ceiling wondering how he could go on now that Sirius was dead. The last time this happened he’d regretted letting the warmth in. But now he tortured himself with the knowledge he would never experience warmth again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	98. reunited

when sirius offered up grimmauld place as headquarters for the revived order of the phoenix, he extended the invitation to remus. as strange as things were between them, sirius wanted remus close to him at all times and remus felt the same. of course they’d never discussed this, or them, or anything they felt, really. 

they’d always sit next to each other at the long table, shoulder to shoulder. one time sirius had even placed an arm around remus’ waist when mad eye moody delivered a particularly depressing piece of news. 

it seemed to be a recurring habit for them. only ever having the courage to make a move whenever it felt as though their lives were in danger. it felt wrong. 

sirius black was doing everything he could to get his life back on track, and for the most part, it was working. everything was going well, except for remus. 

molly and arthur, noble pair they were, dutifully rejoined the order, bringing their children with them to grimmauld place and a party did they bring. hermione granger, who’s surname name he’d never heard of joined that summer, and harry, the ever impulsive child (of whom he was incredibly proud of and happy to see) also made his way to grimmauld place a few weeks later. 

grimmauld place was full. it was bursting with life, someone at every corner, a conversation drifting down the hall at almost every hour, but at the centre of it all was him and remus. 

he hadn’t thought it through. now he and remus had to share a room together. as a teenager, sirius black would’ve been off the rails with excitement at the prospect. now, he was filled with dread. it wouldn’t do to suggest splitting the full bed into two. this wasn’t hogwarts, and they weren’t exactly lovers anymore either. or were they? neither of them knew.

talk to me? please? 

of course, for that to happen, one of them would have to do so first. 

a terrifying concept. what if i fuck it up? can i even fuck it up more than i already have? 

so each night, they fell asleep with an ocean between them, only to wake up tangled up in the other’s limbs. 

they never woke up together of course, sirius, the lighter sleeper of the two, would always entangle himself first and early, not waking remus. never, waking up remus. he didn’t want to face the consequences of that. remus was probably thinking that sirius never wanted to face the consequences of anything. 

this continued for 3 weeks straight. they fell into a rhythm, as depressing as it was, until the full moon came and it was just the two of them, alone in the forest together. no order business to attend to, no godson to worry about or weasley family chatter to drown out the miserable pounding in his head. 

they weren’t remus and sirius anymore, during the night, they were moony and padfoot again and sirius thanked the heavens above that the wolf didn’t have the same reservations as remus did. moony only wanted to play, to have fun and to enjoy padfoot’s company. 

when the sun rose and remus shrunk back into his own body, they sat against a large tree trunk, remus cradled in sirius arms, between his legs, enjoying the serenity of the sunrise washing over them.   
“i love you.” remus mumbled, almost falling asleep. 

“what?” 

“i said i love you, sirius.” louder this time, wincing as he tried to twist himself to look sirius in the eye. 

“do you mean that, moony?” he whispered. he hadn’t dared to speak that name in over a decade. 

“i do, padfoot.” 

and with the remaining strength he had, remus placed the world’s lightest of kisses to sirius’ mouth. 

“can we go home, love?” 

“of course, moony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	99. after (no not the harry styles fanfiction)

There were two things about Remus and Sirius’s relationship after Sirius escaped from Azkaban. 

Sirius tried desperately to act like their relationship was as it had been in the 80s. Remus faced the hard truth, he acknowledged that they had changed. 

Remus and Sirius argued over this often. 

Remus would say, “Sirius, things have changed. a lot. You can’t keep pretending this - our - relationship is all sunshine and rainbows!” 

Sirius would fume. “Do you think I don’t know that, Remus?” He’d say angrily, “I’m all too aware that things have changed. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be happy.” 

Remus would shake his head, turn around, and leave the room because he can’t take the stress from these arguments. 

Sirius, being the stubborn arse he is, refuses to apologize. 

They’re together again and it’s so fucking hard. 

They argue. 

They apologize. 

They kiss. 

They live. 

But it’s different and difficult. There’s no James there to tease them about their constant snogging. There’s no Lily to offer them date ideas or to ask them to watch Harry. 

It isn’t until the morning after the full moon, when Remus transforms back with Sirius at his side as always that they have a blunt conversation. 

Sirius, holding Remus close and saying, “It’s fucking hard, Remus. I know that we aren’t the way we used to be but it’s just easier to pretend we are.” 

Remus sighing, “I know. We can be happy together, but we have to put the past behind us.” He’s say quietly. 

And so they moved on. They started fresh. 

And they only had it for two years longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons) x


	100. pregnant lily

the news came as a bit of a shock but it was a welcome surprise. lily was pregnant. james decided they needed to find somewhere to go to start their family. so the two of them set out to find a place to call their own. when they finally did they made it a home. everyone would come by to visit and it was such a warm and comforting place to be, an escape from the war at hand. when the prophecy was discovered they were forced to flee and go into hiding. it all went down hill from there. they were forced into an old house in a quiet village. they tried to make it a home but they couldn’t, they feared their lives too much they didn’t want the fact they were stuck there for lord knows how long to become a reality. not many people visited cause they weren’t allowed to. it was desolate and lonely. harry was still a light in their darkness but it wasn’t the same they’d created a home, the start of a life that felt safe and warm, and now they were stuck here in godric's hollow pulled away from their desired life. it was hard remain there comfortably it just felt wrong. and the night voldemort kicked down their door, coming to take their lives, they knew the life they had hopped for, and started in the little apartment was no more.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

sirius was angry. angry at the gods for getting lily to finally like james back, angry at remus for supporting their relationship, angry at james and lily themselves for actually loving each other and having a nice, stable relationship. he had no problem with lily, of course, she was one of the nicest girls he'd ever met, but  _ damn _ her for letting james get her pregnant, and  _ damn _ her for assisting james in buying a one bedroom flat. For years they'd talked about all renting a big apartment, like muggles in university did. that was sirius' entire plan for the future, but no. of course things couldn't go the way they planned. they never did. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ 1981 _

sirius hated james and lily even more for buying that stupid apartment. if he'd moved in with them then, he probably would've moved to their new, secret house with them. he should've been the secret keeper. he could've been able to actually save them. and now he was probably going to azkaban, and couldn't take care of the one thing he had left from them. remus was probably drunk, just like he got every time he lost control. and harry... harry would probably go to live with his actual family. the horrible sister sirius had met at the potter/evans wedding. the walrus-like uncle. the spoiled child lily had mentioned. and  _ merlin _ , he hated the idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks) and me ([@snapephobic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapephobic))


	101. jealousy (sirius black edition)

sirius being jealous of remus’ study group bc he wanted to spend time with remus. sirius wanting to vent to james, but not being able to explain just why the study group, chris in particular. stupid git, making eyes at remus all the time, sitting next to him, discussing books together. he was jealous. and he was in love. so he talks to james, without talking to james. he stammers, skirts around it, mentioning the study group but not what about the study group was pissing him off. he kinda sounds like a dick if he’s being honest. so james can’t help. and sirius is back where he started. actually, even worse, because james saw right through his shit and now knew something big was up. fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck. so the year went on, pining, hooking up in the middle of the night, crying. because sirius black was in love with remus lupin, and there was nothing he could do besides pretend and lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	102. after out of the blue

teddy lupin never knew his father, but he still loved him nonetheless. it hurt. it hurt way more than it should have every time his father’s name was mentioned and the word werewolf was almost always brought up. but it was never in a nice way. it was always spat, or spoken in a hushed tone, or mentioned it was something they wished wasn’t there. it didn’t matter that he’d been the top of his class in his youth, a professor at hogwarts, a member of the order of the phoenix, a sacrifice of both wizarding wars. it didn’t matter that he’d been a husband, a father. werewolf was all they saw, and people couldn’t help but see it in teddy too. remus lupin had been the furthest thing from a monster, but it was all that was remembered of him.

when teddy lupin met grant chapman, it was a breath of fresh air. here was this man, a muggle of all people, who seemed to know his father better than anyone else around him. (well, besides sirius black, but he was also long gone and someone he’d never met). someone who spoke of his father the way he’d always imagined him to be. brave, kind, selfless, generous. hearing grant talk about remus like a normal person automatically put grant chapman in very high standing to him. the weight in the pit of his stomach and the whisper in the back of his mind that told him that maybe everyone was right, his father had been a monster, had been put to rest because teddy knew he was right all along.

everyone told teddy lupin about his mother, the legendary nymphadora. a woman who’s name struck awe into everyone, the woman who gave him his special gift. at least he hadn’t ended up with lycanthropy, people joked to him far too easily. the implication was clear. if you’d turned out more like your father, you’d be a disgrace. people spoke about his father, remus lupin, who by all accounts had been a wonderful person, but a werewolf. as though they appreciated him in spite of it. the exception. a few people knew of sirius black, and the true extent of their relationship from their hogwarts years until his death. nobody, however, knew about grant chapman. the man who’d kept remus together throughout the worst 12 years of his life. the muggle who seemed to know a completely different remus, but one that felt more like a real person than anyone had ever told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c r i
> 
> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	103. sirius on halloween, 1981

Ughhhh stop thinking about Sirius on Halloween, 1981. Stop doing it. Stop thinking about him realizing it was Peter. And rushing to the Potter's house to check on Lily and James. And thinking about how he has to apologise to Remus and fix things. And getting there. And realising it's too late. Finding James' body and ripping the place apart in grief... Being denied the right to take Harry... And going after Peter... Don't. Think. About. It. Finding Peter and being ready to kill him for everything he did... For putting him and Remus against each other. For taking his family from him... And then there's an explosion and Peter's gone and the auror's come and he's just standing there alone... Peter framed him. And he couldn't do anything but laugh because... How. Fucking. Typical. For something like this to happen to him... Don't think about it guys. I certainly try not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/pseuds/boggartsinthecloset)


	104. sirius comes out: a collection

imagine the amount of relief sirius black felt the day he came out to james. ever since the whole remus thing happened, he’d never been able to feel quite at ease around james. they were best friends, of course. they sat together, played pranks, listened to the other, helped the other with homework and everything else did best friends did. hell, they were closer than friends, they were brothers. james became his family when the potters took him in, loved him when his own family couldn’t. he was loved, through and through by the potters, by james, so why couldn’t he say it? two little words. and the course of your friendship could be changed forever. it could be over the little voice in his mind whispered. james was a good guy, he’d accept it. sirius knew this on an objective level, but he was terrified. things would be different. how could they not be? then the day in the library happened, his hand on remus’ neck without even thinking. and things were okay. everything was okay. the marauders were okay, remus was better than okay and sirius could feel at ease around james in a way he hadn’t felt since he was a child.

sirius after he came out to james and everyone else, unable to stop smiling after the initial fear subsided, feeling every bit as brave as he thought remus was.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

peter after sirius came out to him and everyone else, feeling betrayed. how had he not known what sirius was? it was disgusting. he didn't understand why no one else seemed to be reacting this way. 

james even had a little talk with him, and, james being james, peter listened and didn't say anything more to sirius or remus, saving the snide comments for times when no one was suspecting them. 

he didn't want to stay friends with their kind, but what choice did he have? he was nothing without them.  _ you weren't anything without your friends, _ they had always said. 

but he longed for an out. 

and so, when a man named barty invited him to join their little club, he went willingly.

  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

remus after sirius came out to him and everyone else, restraining himself from looking too visibly excited about the fact that sirius was bisexual, that sirius liked boys, that sirius could like  _ him _ . 

spoiler alert: he did, and it didn't end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves) and me, [(@snapephobic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapephobic))


	105. guilt

Imagine the amount of guilt Remus felt, all those years later, only after him and Tonks had gotten together and Sirius had died telling Harry what had once been. And Harry was legitimately mad. He was extremely angry about it. Which, quite frankly is understandable, finding out that your dad's best friend had gotten with his ex-boyfriend's cousin after his death. Harry had actually hexed his father figure and told him that James would be disappointed in his friend. He didn't know how hard that hit Remus. Harry didn't talk to Remus at all after that, it being before Remus got Tonks pregnant. After Remus left Grimmauld Place the next time Harry saw him was when he told them Tonks had given birth. Harry begrudgingly congratulated him, and went into the Battle of Hogwarts shortly afterwards. And as Harry saw Remus's cold, dead, unmoving, body lying in the Great Hall he regretted every last bit of that hate, spite, and bitter words. After the Battle of Hogwarts, the first moment he had alone he cried. This was all too much for him. He couldn't even think. What he could string together of his thoughts however, was "I forgive you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/pseuds/boggartsinthecloset)


	106. astoria malfoy

when scorpius’ mother passed away, he couldn’t bear to cry in front of his father. he turned to albus instead. his best friend, his best mate, his one friend in the entire world and the only person scorpius felt truly at ease around. scorpius sobbed for hours on end, and albus, who couldn’t even begin to comprehend the pain scorpius felt in that moment, held his best friend tight and let scorpius soak his shirt with his tears. tears that didn’t seem to stop coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/pseuds/lemontreeleaves)


	107. 4th year scorbus

albus and scorpius having a remus and sirius on the train in 4th year moment. scorpius walking on the train on the first day of 4th year, now almost a foot taller than albus. he was in new clothes, expensive clothes that fit him perfectly, his hair a little bit longer and his face no longer resembled a young boy’s, it was more angular. if they were both to stand, scorpius would be staring him right down. albus’ throat went dry at the thought. scorpius is hot. wait. shit. and in this moment, albus potter knew, he was fucked. positively and utterly fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the inspiration for [when Scorpius Malfoy walked on the train in sixth year](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29394363).
> 
> also written by [vanesssa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/profile)


	108. fred's funeral

The entire Weasley family vividly remembers Fred's funeral. The sounds, smells, looks, all of it. Molly was sobbing while being comforted by Arthur though he too was grieving the loss of his most mischievous son. Bill silently grieved the loss of his little brother, whom he'd watched grow up, tears streaming unexpectedly down the strong, scarred, man's face. A smaller, fierce looking woman was on his arm speaking in a french which she'd previously taught him, doing her best to comfort him though her soft smile contrasting with the tear tracks on her face. Charlie looked the most out of place. Burns, scratches, cuts, and scars littered his body giving it a lively look but today it looked anything but. Charlie looked miserable. He'd helped Bill with Fred and the rest of his siblings and to be at his funeral now killed him. He wasn't crying, instead being completely silent and unlike himself. Percy looked horrible. The worst, almost. He looked like he'd been crying for days, which he had, and he looked incredibly pale. He looked like he'd lost a few pounds just from the sheer guilt and intense sadness. George. Oh, George was the worst. He looked like and hadn't slept or eaten for days. He simply looked like a husk of what he once was, the mischievous, fun, easygoing, boy gone. He eyes were dim and he looked as if there was no soul behind them. He wasn't crying. No, he was just...gone. He wasn't George. He couldn't be without Fred. He'd lost his other half. Ron didn't know how to feel. This felt fake. He was crying and standing next to a girl about a head shorter than him, her long, frizzy, hair in a bun, tears rolling down her face too. Ginny looked pitiful. She had tears rolling freely down her face, eyes red, hair slightly disheveled. The tall, bespectacled boy next to her looked down at her with pity and guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/pseuds/boggartsinthecloset) why must you do this to me


	109. he is beauty, he is grace, he will quite literally bite you in the arse

Imagine that Sirius got to the Potters in time. Imagine him bursting in through the door right after Voldemort and turning into Padfoot within seconds just as Voldemort’s about to kill James. Imagine if Padfoot just launched at Voldemort and bit him in the ass. Imagine Voldemort just screaming like a girl and dropping his wand and whipping around with a massive black dog clinging to him. Imagine James unable to hold back his laughter even tho the darkest bloody wizard of all time was in his house. Imagine that James turned into Prongs and together Padfoot and Prongs took Voldemort down. Padfoot brought him to the ground, still hanging on for dear life. Prongs just causally stamps of his head and knocks him out. Imagine James turning back and yelling upstairs, “Lily! It’s safe!” Imagine Lily coming down and seeing Voldemort’s unconscious body laying on the ground with a dog clinging to his ass And she just goes, “What the actual FUCK-“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	110. harry potter and the mystery of uncle moony and uncle padfoot

harry loved remus the best because he was always warm. as much as he liked his big dog, he always calmed in the arms of uncle moony. oh, most definitely. whenever sirius and remus came to visit, the second harry heard remus’ voice, he’d cry out for his uncle moony and the others came to expect and accept it. 

when sirius came to find lily and james dead and harry crying, yes, harry was excited to see his uncle padfoot, just like he always was, but he’d come to expect to see his uncle moony at the same time.

can you imagine the pain that sirius felt when he walked up to that crib and harry asked for his uncle moony, and sirius realised he’d been so wrong in thinking remus was the traitor.

so when lily first gives birth to harry, james is all excited for the other marauders to come meet the little guy, and they’re all thrilled, but remus is also terrified because what if he hurts him, he’s dangerous. peter goes into the little room, followed by sirius, and they both go straight to lily to say hi, but remus stands by the door and james has to go over to find out what’s happening. remus is beside himself with fear. but when both peter and sirius try to hold harry he wails - they both give it a good go to comfort him, 5 mins each, but no luck, so padfoot attempts to hand him over to remus and all of a sudden there’s silence in the room, and harry stops crying in a instant and that’s how it always is from then on. remus and sirius babysit harry whilst james and lily have to go on missions, and harry loves his uncle padfoot, he really does, but moony just takes the cake.

he has the softest touch and most delicate skin, and harry loves tracing remus’ data with his little fingers - harry is the only one other than sirius that remus allows to do so - and the comfort of a moony cuddle is like no other. to little harry it’s even sometimes better than one from his own parents if they’ve been distant recently - for the first year of harry’s life, as soon as padfoot comes in the door harry runs to him and tugs on his jeans for a fist bump or to be swung around, but when moony comes in all he wants is to cuddle and hear a story - uncle moony tells the best stories. so after that fateful night when james and lily end up dead, harry just wants a story from uncle moony. he wants a soft warm comforting hug, and he wants to play with padfoots hair like he did all the time, and he does play with padfoots hair - sirius picks up little harry and attempts to comfort him whilst in his own disbelief of the situation, but moony is no where - harry’s confused cause moony and padfoot are always together and then harry’s in the arms of a mysterious man and all of a sudden it’s cold and windy and he’s lost and he just wants his mum.

and then he slowly forgets these comforts because as he grows no one else ever treated him the same. they seemed like an all too distant dream. peoples touch wasn’t a comfort anymore. the old stories helped him drift off at night, but he soon grew out of reciting them to himself because the associations didn’t make sense in his young brain.

and all those years later at hogwarts he was reminded of those comforts. harry found new comforts to take the places of the ones he’d long forgotten. 

and when remus showed up in his third year he felt this unspeakable connection to him. he didn’t understand why, though. he didn’t know this man. but he felt deep within himself that he did, and it took everything in remus not to fling himself around the boy and cry, because it had been 12 years since he’d been able to hold the boy - no longer a small bundle but now a fully grown boy. he wouldn’t be able to hold him on his shoulders anymore. he’d break under the weight, but he wished he’d had a chance to grow out of those actions by figuring out over time that harry was growing too big.

remus regretted that he’d missed the valuable years of harry’s life that brought him to stand before him today and he did his best to keep his distance because he understood - no matter how painful it was to think - harry meant everything to him, he was a beacon of hope in such a dark time - but harry had long forgotten remus and their unbreakable connection. so they spent time alone together in a class room learning from one another. remus told harry about his parents - the parts that weren’t too painful - he continued to share stories as he’d done so long ago and he taught harry new things as he’d taught him new things before, though now it was defensive spells against potential death rather than how to wash his hands or read the alphabet.

and they made do with their new relationship - though it was not what either had hoped for - harry had forgotten everything that he held so dear about remus from his young age, and remus had to restrain himself from connecting with the boy as he had with his best friend all those years ago when they were the same age. and that’s how they survived. 

when sirius came into the picture, the two were in disbelief of how they’d betrayed the memory of the raven haired man. remus regretted the bad thoughts he’d had of his lover and the awful information he’d shared to harry to bear the burden of being the last marauder. but as they found their way into grimmauld place, the three of them together, they began to come back to that connection they’d had some 13 years ago. 

sirius and remus forgave each other - it was hard, oh so hard, but they worked on themselves to better connect after so long apart. and they found a way to see harry as harry and not a replacement for the best friend the two of them had lost. they worked their hardest to raise harry in the way james and lily would have done. they knew he was beyond being raised and now needed to be guided, but they both regretted that they’d missed the young boys formative years. 

it pained them to realise that they could’ve taken james and lily’s place to help bring the boy up in a fair and honest place. they hated themselves for letting him end up in the situation he did, but they did everything in their power to rectify it.

in the two short years they had, just the three of them together. and after sirius died remus and harry were all the better for the bond they had formed, because without each other - remus wouldn’t have survived losing his lover a second time and harry wouldn’t have survived losing his godfather whom he’d grown so attached to

but the two got along as best they could with each other’s support, and that is how they survived up until that fateful battle at hogwarts when harry lost his moony again. but this time for good. and the memories he had of him were no longer forgotten as distant dreams of something so foreign, but as a happiness that he’d gotten to reconnect with his original comfort after so long apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so long omg 
> 
> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	111. leaving at last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of child abuse

Remus, 

Was all he could write in his shaking lettering before he heard it. Footsteps. He hastily shoved away his quill and parchment as though his life depended on on it which it did. He'd just gotten up before Walburga burst in his room. 

"What were you doing?" she demanded. 

"N-nothing." he replied, already in pain and struggling to stand. She slapped him. 

"Liar! Muggle-loving liar! Probably writing to your little blood traitor friends, or the half-blood." ‘

Sirius wanted to charge her for speaking against his friend but he knew he couldn't. He settled for 

"Shut up." Walburga stepped back. "Tomorrow your father's back. You'll regret that." 

This was the night Sirius Black ran away. 

This was the night Regulus begged his brother not to leave him. 

This was the night Sirius Black flooed to James Potter's house, bleeding, barely able to stand. 

This was the night James Potter accepted his brother with open arms, realizing just how bad it was. 

This was the night Euphemia Potter accepted her son with open arms, wanting to curse his parents into oblivion. 

This was the night Sirius Black was saved. 

This was the night Regulus Black was destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/pseuds/boggartsinthecloset)


	112. staying awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! tw !! for mentions of self harm

James and Lily both having nightmares every night in Godric’s Hollow about Voldemort coming and killing Harry while they weren’t asleep. Eventually they got so bad for James that he took to staying up all night in Harry’s room, casting stinging hexes on himself over and over again to keep himself awake, even if they caused welts and angry red marks all over his body. James hiding these marks during the day with glamour charms and long sleeves. One day, while Lily was out to get food for them and he had the house to himself with only Harry there, he let the glamour charms down. Remus turning up for an unexpected visit and coming in through the front door and seeing James with his sleeves rolled up and horrible red marks all over his arms. James frantically trying to pull down his sleeves again but Remus stopping him and just silently healing the sting marks, knowing exactly what had caused them but not saying anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	113. babysitting traitor

James and Lily asking Peter to watch Harry while they go out because Sirius and Remus are busy. Peter opening his mouth to make an excuse then slowly closing it and looking down at Baby Harry and staring at him for a moment then quietly agreeing. James and Lily thanking him and leaving. Peter slowly picking Harry up, feeling quietly because this child w as going to be killed and Peter was working for the person who was going to do it. Baby Harry gurgling and giggling happily and Peter just abruptly setting him down and going to sit across the room because he couldn't bear to hold the child whom’s death he would be responsible for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	114. anxious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! cw !! for anxiety attacks

James Potter one day having an anxiety attack so bad in Godric’s Hollow then he refuses to leave Harry’s room and has his wand clenched in his hand so hard that his knuckles are white. Any slight movements and he’s firing curses and hexes and spells all over the room. Lily very carefully trying to bring him food and James trying to eat it but not being able to keep it down and ends up on the floor coughing it all up then clearing it with a flick of his wand. This cycle repeating for weeks. James refusing to leave the room, James trying to eat and ending up on the ground, James losing weight severely and getting sick, Lily worriedly informing Dumbledore of this. Dumbledore sending McGonagall, Remus and Sirius over to check on the Potters. Them seeing James’ condition for themselves. Dark circles under his eyes, hollowed face, looking like he was only made of skin and bones, James stubbornly refusing to rest. Remus finally knocking James out with a spell and dragging him to he and Lily’s room, Sirius following. McGonagall going back to confront Dumbledore, telling him “They can’t keep doing this, Albus. Bring them here. They’ll be more protected anyway.” And Dumbledore just shaking his head and that god damn fool just saying “It’s all for the greater good, Minerva. They will struggle but measures must be taken to the extreme, no matter what happens or how they are effected.” Halloween happens, Harry Potter disappears, his parents are dead and the story of how James and Lily Evans-Potter would do anything for their son. Remus, Minerva and Sirius remembering how far James pushed himself to protect Harry. How hard Lily worked to keep both her husband and her son safe and what had it been worth? Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	115. remus lupin is not good with babies

Remus Lupin being there for the birth of James Sirius Potter and watching Harry pace nervously and seeing James all over again. Harry telling Remus what his son’s name was going to be and Remus struggling to keep his tears in. Harry naming Remus honorary godfather of James Sirius Potter and Remus choking up as he holds this tiny creature in his arms and seeing an exact replica of Harry again. Remus swearing to never let anything happen to Harry Potter’s beautiful son and his beautiful names even if it kills him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [storm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinmoons/pseuds/lupinmoons)


	116. the death of remus lupin

Tonks refuses to leave her child and she stays up all night, waiting for her husband to get home because she knew he would. 

Finally the doorbell rang and she answered it with a huge smile. 

"Remus!" 

But the person at the door wasn't Remus. Minerva Mcgonagall stood in the doorway, with a look of deep sorrow and exhaustion on her face. 

"Nymphadora... I'm sorry." 

She didn't even bother correcting her as everything around her crumbled. He's gone. The father of her child was gone. Her husband. The love of her life. The one she'd waited for. He was dead. 

As the world fell down, Nymphadora Tonks fell to her knees, tears falling freely down her face, mouse brown hair at her shoulders, and she let out a desperate, anguishful, piercing scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/pseuds/boggartsinthecloset)


	117. narcissa is the best malfoy don't @ me

When Narcissa found out about her cousin dying she lashed out. She screamed at her husband, yelled herself hoarse at her sister, hair sparking and magic exploding vases and things flying from her rage and collapses onto the ground when she's finished. She sobs because she loved her little cousin no matter how much of a blood traitor he was. And now he's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [eclipse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boggartsinthecloset/pseuds/boggartsinthecloset)


	118. the click

Remus and Sirius both realised their feelings for each other around the same time, but neither wanted to ruin their bond by owning up to it. So, they remained how they always had been, not acknowledging the yearning that now came along with the warmth. The desire for more. 

One night when they had almost been caught by Filch when setting up a prank that things clicked for the two. They hid behind tapestries and shushed portraits as they ran back to the common room, hoping not to get caught. Hand in hand, Sirius leading, both of the boys fighting with the butterflies in their stomachs. 

When they finally reached the portrait hole, Remus provided the password and the two toppled in one after the other. Their hands still connected from the sprint, both shaking from the adrenaline they ended up on the couch next to each other. In their usual spot, intertwined, nothing out of the ordinary, but laughing and laughing from the shock of the last half an hour or so. 

Sirius began to play with the other boy’s slender fingers, recounting the hallways he’d led Remus down. Remus used his free hand to comb through the black locks that lay scattered across his chest. Sirius wriggled up to rest his head on the taller boy’s shoulder just as Remus looked down to face the moving boy, and they ended up nose to nose.

Remus’ arm was still wrapped around the smaller boy holding him against himself and stopping him from falling to the ground. Their hearts racing, breathing heavily they remained like that for a minute or so, a mixture of panic and admiration expressed in the eyes of both boys. Sirius began to look down losing his courage, as Remus caught his chin and tilted Sirius’ face back up to his own, planting a soft kiss upon his lips. 

It felt right. For the both of them. And they lay there together, huddled up in their usual spot, now with grins planted on their faces, blushing from the contact they’d both longed for. And they stayed there, falling asleep tangled up with one another as they often did, awoken by the soft glow of the morning sunlight streaming through the windows of the common room onto where they lay on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love you sm [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	119. furry little secret

when the marauders found out about remus’ furry little secret everything was ok. he hadn’t expected it. he feared the worst if anyone ever found out about it, but it was all ok. but he had support now. he found he could joke about it with his friends. everything became slightly easier for moony. that’s what they came up with. his friends had given him a nickname, and all of a sudden the world seemed a little lighter. it rolled off the tongue so nicely. his little inside joke with people, he’d never had one of those before. he now had company in the hospital. of course the other boys had come before but they didn’t understand why he was there so frequently. but now they knew and laying in that bed was so much easier knowing he wouldn’t have to lie to everyone about what happened. when he found out what they had done for him, they had literally defied the law for him. he had no idea what to do with himself. the three boys that meant the most to him in the world were willing to risk their lives for him. he felt an overwhelming love deep within his soul. it was the most bliss he’d experienced in forever. something that so often caused him pain and agony, the dread leading into that one night each month, was now replaced by excitement and joy. he fell in love with frolicking around with his companions. and he fell in love with the boy with the long black hair. he found out it was with his idea and determination that life wasn’t quite as dreary and painful. he realised that his feelings toward the mischievous boy had always been slightly different to the ones toward the other two. but now he understood. his connection to the pureblood boy was genuine and he was more comfortable than ever before. he was in love with life. he was in love with a boy. he loved finally being able to understand and feel love.

he figured it out early on. the scraggly boy needed his help. he was drawn to him and his lanky delicate features. he just needed to figure out what was wrong so he could help. and he did. he connected the dots and knew what it was. he approached the other two boys about the realisation he’d had. he knew exactly how to help and that’s what they were going to do. they didn’t tell the other boy of their idea at first. what if it didn’t work. but it did. they were successful. they could help him. he could help him at last. long gone were the days of sitting in the bed next to him worrying. he’d gotten good at distracting and being support for the aftermath. but now he could be there for him and help in real time. he hadn’t ever been ok about himself but here, now there was someone he let in. it was ok to let him in because he helped. he made it all better. he made life seem good. he made the idea of his awful family seem so distant. the fear he had dissipated as the other boy held him and supported him like no one had ever done before. he’d only ever experienced pain and hatred. and now he felt comfort ant and admiration. he fell in love with the tall boy covered in silvery scars. his idea had been a success and he could finally help the boy he loved. he hadn’t realised he’d loved him at first. but as they grew closer he grew fonder of the boy. if that was even possible. he couldn’t pin point a single flaw about the boy. his connection to the werewolf was genuine and strong and he felt at home for the first time in forever. he was in love with life. he was in love with a boy. he loved finally being understood and to feel the love of another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [ani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyhaveoddsocks/pseuds/ionlyhaveoddsocks)


	120. the marauders map

when he remus heard the story of how fred and george weasley had nicked the marauders map from filch's office (and in their first year at that!) his heart swelled with pride. as painful as the map was for remus, everything it stood for, everything it reminded him of, he was glad to see it put to use again, just as the marauders had intended. he thought of prongs in the afterlife, glad to see the map back in action, taken right from the place they last heard of it. he couldn't wait to tell sirius, whenever he saw him next. he thought of lily, the head girl in her exasperated at the thought of mayhem caused with that map at the helm, but still laughing alongside them all the way. that silly piece of parchment was the one good thing left of all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by [vanessa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemontreeleaves/profile)


End file.
